


Merlin - a memorable quote review

by AndreKl



Series: Merlin - all our favorite idiots [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-05-28 12:12:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 34,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19393894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndreKl/pseuds/AndreKl
Summary: We all know the memorable quotes, phrases, etc. of Merlin – all these cool sentences that we can remember all of the time and repeat in our own fics. But what the hell is the meaning of these sentences? What is so special about them? In this fic I will continue my satire of funny and nasty speculations and discussion. Welcome to participate!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! This is an attempt of a new fic. We all know these memorable quotes, phrases, etc. of the show and fics –all these cool sentences that we can remember all of the time and repeat in our own fics. But what the hell is the meaning of these sentences? What is so special about them? In this fic I will continue my satire of funny and nasty speculations and discussion. So this is to all readers who don’t take the show deadly serious and are read to have fun on the costs of our favorite heroes and villains WELCOME!

**“You are two sides of the same coin.” — Kilgharrah to Merlin about Merlin and Arthur**

This sentence is the introduction and proof for all Merlin-fans. It promises us a great, perfect and inextricable friendship and teamwork of Merlin and Arthur in the future. But why? Please, can someone explain me the unavoidable connection between the coin-statement and an Arthur-Merlin friendship. Err… big silence!

Okay, let’s try another attempt. We pretend to know nothing about the legend or the characters of the show. So we can truly concentrate on the meaning of the sentence. The all-knowing, super wise, friendly and helpful dragon - oh god, I can't believe I write this shit - said that Merlin and Arthur are two sides of one coin. And what now?

What to do with a coin? Of course, you throw it into the air and wait which side is on the top. Is that the true meaning - a coin flip? A bet, a question of either / or… Not really the metaphor that I would have used to convince Merlin of being friends with Arthur and saving magic, making peace and saving the word TOGETHER. This is especially questionable if you consider the actual circumstances in episode 1. Merlin, a stereotype of a naive farm boy, was just a victim of “his royal pratness Arthur” chicane and “the great king” Uther (Arthur’s father and role model) has demonstrated how to handle sorcerers.

So why did the dragon say something like this? Maybe... Is it possible that the entire coin thing is to be taken literally? If the tail is on the top than the head is on the bottom – or in other words some of our supposed to be heroes and friends has his face in the dirt while the other one is on the top. Sounds mean, doesn’t it? But it’s also quite fitting if you consider their situation. If the coin flip thing is true, then it’s hardly possible for Merlin and Arthur to be on the same level. Indeed, even in season 5 (after 10 years together) they do usually call each other “prat” “idiot” – in other words KING and SERVANT.

Maybe Merlin should have listened to the dragon more carefully. This is actually quite strange, since the typical interaction between Merlin and Kilgharrah is rather like this: the dragon says: “Jump!” and Merlin asks: „How high? “ Is it possible that the entire story would have ended without complete bloodshed? Maybe, but Merlin was never good when it comes to the topic of LISTENING CAREFULLY. He was rather running into action and adding his dream world to it. Okay, to be fair he is not the only one. I don’t know. But at the end it’s still true – Arthur and Merlin are two sides of the same coin. One of them is dead, which means his face (and the rest of him) is in the dirt and the other one lives alone forever. Or in other words, the result of this coin flip is the tail (Merlin) on the top and the head (Arthur) is down. Strange?! Nevertheless, I’m still not sure who is the actual winner in this game.

**“I’m not my father!” – from Arthur often in fics**

Who does not know this statement and its variation of “Arthur is not his father!” from many fics? I’m always asking myself “What the hell shall this mean?” Arthur is not Uther. Of course, he is. One person is a grumpy old guy, who is actually dead for 1.5 seasons and the other one is a blond… Ups, did I unconsciously indicate a relation between Arthur’s hair color and his mind? Not my intention. I promise. However, it is absolutely ridiculous to say that these two are not identical. It’s as plain as the nose on your face. Why emphasizing the most obvious thing in the world, especially considering the typical circumstances. It is almost like Arthur would expect people to celebrate him for (his wisdom of) being not his father. Ups, I did it again. Sorry.

Of course, the true meaning of the statement is that Arthur is not LIKE his father. But hey, I don’t blame them it’s about the Middle Ages after all. Nobody can truly expect good grammar from people of this time. It’s almost a wonder that Arthur and especially people like his proponent Merlin are no analphabets. However, despite of this grammar thing there is still a negative connotation with this “I’m not like my father!”-thing.

As already said, the differences - hair color - between Uther and Arthur are extremely obvious. I would even say the statement is totally worthless. Somebody out there who is (exactly) like his / her father? Nobody? Good! I would have a tiny problem with writing fics for clones.

The true question should be if Arthur agrees with his father attitude and decision dealing with crucial questions, such as magic.

I don’t want to discuss this question here (did already happen in my previous fics). I just think it’s questionable that Arthur (and his proponent Merlin) have to shout the phrase “I’m (Arthur is) not (like) Uther!” all the time. The exclamation point at the end of the sentence is quite important.

It shouldn’t be necessary to say this when Arthur’s actions would speak for itself, especially when it comes to magic. Why saying things that everyone in Camelot and the surrounding kingdoms should know very well? Nobody would question Arthur’s OWN AND INDEPENDENT attitude to magic after actually changing the laws against… Yeah, I know it’s nasty of me to harp on about this topic. We were all waiting for it during the entire show, but for some reasons it did never…

In summary, what is the final result from the entire “Arthur is not Uther”-story? It’s rather a wishful dream of what should have happened. A cynic (like me) could also say it’s a predictable attempt of a politician to justify himself and his claim for the reign. Kings and politicians will often do the complete opposite from their own talking. This hasn’t change in the last 1500 years.

Okay, now everything is clear. We have established that I have a (tiny) problem with Arthur constant ramblings... I want action! However, you all know how much I like to speculate. We have already talked a lot about ridiculous stuff... but you can always overdo something. Therefore, let's be really mean and say: "Arthur is not his father. EVEN MORE HE IS NOT UTHER'S SON." BANG!!! Didn't see that coming.

I know you think that I have compelely lost it... Well, maybe a little bit. However, I truly mean it. Arthur was born by magic. That's the reason that some writers say that ArthurxMorgana-pairings are no real incest stuff. I don't care. However, if Ygraine was merely a `limited storage place´ - sorry, I can't think of better words. What does this say about Uther? Nimueh was asked to create a baby king and place it into Ygraine. She did. But where is Uther in this? Try to put yourself in Nimueh's place! What is so special about Uther that it must be part of the next generation? Err... Nothing.

Shall we end this here? Maybe, because you know the final consequences... Arthur has no claim for the throne. Oops!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! First of all I want to thank you for accepting this new try of a fic. A lot of people were reading the first chapter of this.   
> Okay, let’s come to the new chapter. This one is about two of the most memorial quotes dealing with our two lovely idiots (Merlin and Morgana). ENJOY!

**“But I fear that your futures are now joined forever. She is the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love.” — Kilgharrah to Merlin on Morgana**

That is one of the most important citations in the entire show and every fan can remember it, even in deep sleep at 3 o’clock in the morning. But what is so special about these lines? What is the true meaning?

We will discuss this word by word. Therefore we have to consider the actual circumstances. It’s the first episode of season 3. So Merlin should be fully aware of the cryptic jabbering of the dragon and even more important the dragon has just recently revealed his tendency for following his own secret agenda by burning down Camelot and trying to kill Arthur. So this quote is very different from the one in the previous chapter.

Surprisingly, the first sentence of the quote is cited very rarely, which is strange because the true meaning is more clear if you see both sentences together. The dragon says literally (and without cryptic blah blah) “…your futures are now joined forever…“. It can’t be clearer. Merlin and Morgana belong together in good or bad ways. Of course, Mergana shippers will agree, but even friends of a magically and bloody duel will not deny the special connection between them. It isn’t possible for one of them to be without the other one.

Interestingly, this was already very clear before this citation. Seasons 1 and 2 are mostly dominated by Merlin and Morgana affecting each other by their actions and reactions. It’s sometimes in good ways, like protecting Gwen from executions, protecting Mordred, etc. and sometimes in bad (more accurate stupid) ways, like the massacre on the druids.

Of course, the most “evil part” here was done by the Uther/Arthur cooperation, but even I can’t deny that the interaction between Merlin and Morgana made it worse. On the one side is Merlin, who was unwilling to help neither Morgana nor the druids with full effort and on the other side is Morgana, who to draw Merlin and the druids into big (and deadly) problems due to her stubbornness and uncontrolled emotions. However, the most important question for me in these first seasons was: “Why is there so much talking about Arthur and Merlin? The actual (team) work is usually done by Merlin and Morgana. Arthur is just an arrogant prat wielding a sword.”

However, let’s come back to the part of “bad interactions”. Of course, this part is significantly growing in the following seasons. Nevertheless, I had always the feeling that both of them were (unconsciously) aware of their special connection. Merlin and Morgana had a tendency to avoid the final blow in their fights. This seems to be especially true for Morgana. I can’t imagine another explanation for her decision to imprison the powerless Merlin/Emrys in the cave instead of killing him in the last episode.

At the end, there are two persons who can’t be without each other. Please note that I didn’t say that they can do better with each other.

We followed this strange “couple” for years and the dragon saying is very clear. So why the hell is Merlin trying to separate them? Why should anybody try to kill the person, who is destined to share his/her future? The question is even more important if you consider the translation of Emrys. How is this going to be possible? Merlin is trying to kill his own ENDLESS LONG future. Err… could be a little boring.

Is it even possible for Merlin to kill the one person who is destined to share his future? Let’s speculate about this. Merlin’s and Morgana’s futures are joined FOREVER. Merlin is immortal. Merlin kills Morgana. This is literally a contradiction in terms.

How to explain it? Is it just another mistake of the producers? Here are two attempts to fix the problem:

  1. Merlin drops dead immediately after killing Morgana. Nope. Didn’t happen.
  2. Morgana isn’t dead. Maybe???



It’s quite nice and funny to speculate about such a well-known quote, isn’t it?

Now let’s come to another part of the quote. Why does the stupid dragon fear the connection thing between Merlin and Morgana? He should be happy that his friend (he pretends to be Merlin’s friend) has someone to share his thoughts, someone who is actually working with him. The cooperation with Arthur didn’t work so well after all: magic free? Nope. Peace? Nope. Do I have to continue? It’s high time to change the teams.

So why does the dragon fear a common future of Merlin and Morgana? Is it mean of me to impute base motives to him? It’s more complicated to manipulate a real team of Morgana and Merlin instead of an isolated and already brainwashed Merlin.

However, it’s time to discuss the second part of the quote. Readers of my previous fics know my opinion about the entire light/darkness- and love/hate-attitude. I hate it. It’s just another description of the typical one-dimensional black-and-white painting.

Nevertheless, one point in this sentence is very important to me: “YOUR”. The dragon is emphasizing it. “…YOUR love…” and “…YOUR light…”. You could say that the amount of Morgana’s hatred and darkness is directly dependent to Merlin’s light and vice versa. The light of Merlin could become darker and brighter quite quickly depending on Morgana, the other half of his future.

Even more, I dare to say that “YOUR” is the true key to understand the entire good-and-evil/black-and-white painting. Nobody is just black or just white. Every character is grey. The meaning of this is quite special in case of our two lovely idiots. They are not just grey. Merlin and Morgana are the same kind of grey. Once again, Mergana shipper knew this. But independently on this it’s obvious that Merlin and Morgana affect each other all the time. Their common grey can be brighter and darker, depending on their interactions.

Of course, it would be better if they would actually use this fact. They could be as good or bad as they want to be. But this is too much for them – another reason why I like to call them my lovely idiots.

Btw. Did you realize that I didn’t even mention the fact that things like light and darkness or love and hatred can’t exist without each other?

**“The one they call Emrys will walk in your shadow, he is your destiny and he is your doom.” – The Cailleach to Morgana**

This quote comes from the beginning of season 4 and is almost the counterpart to Merlin’s version of light and darkness. It is a warning in both cases, a very direct warning (especially considering the typical jabbering of these old magic creatures). Even the content of the warning is pretty much alike. The only difference between both quotes is the way to handle it. Merlin is on the one side. He is motivated by his “absolutely honest friend” Kilgharrah to intensify the war against Morgana. She is on the other side and at the beginning she doesn’t know how to handle this. But this is going to change.

But before discussing this change I want us to focus on the details of the quote. One part is very interesting there: “…walk in your shadow…”. Shadow?! Sounds strangely familiar, doesn’t it? Yes exactly, it’s pretty dark in the shadow. Darkness = shadow. Two different words but one meaning. The only difference between both quotes is about the order of the people.

The Cailleach claims that Merlin/Emrys walks in the shadow (or should I say in the darkness). This does also indicate that Morgana must be (in) the light. Kilgharrah claims it to be the other way round.

However, the keyword is the same: “your”. Once again, we see this tiny word with so much meaning. None of these two can be without the other.

Well, it’s time for the infamous destiny-and-doom part.

Let’s put ourselves in Morgana’s position. She has just learned about her doom. What would you do? RUN! Of course, it’s the most natural thing to avoid our doom. This is exactly what Morgana did during her first encounter with Emrys. She runs away and I do totally support this. It is an absolutely natural and logical reaction.

BUT … 10 seconds later she comes back to mess with her doom. What the hell was she thinking?

In the last chapter I have indicated that blondie Arthur is not the smartest guy in the world. This was mainly because of his inability to break from daddy’s brainwashing. His decisions and laws are mostly copy-and-paste from “Uther’s wisdom and strength”. It is especially sad that this doesn’t change even after ghost-daddy tried to kill his wife. Therefore, I do still agree with the statement about “Arthur’ wisdom”. But to be fair, there is hardly any wise character in the entire show.

Unfortunately, this is also true for his dear sister, who isn’t a genius, too. Sure, she has more brain and was able to overcome Camelot’s propaganda. But she has emotions. Even the slightest kind of feeling or emotion causes Morgana to shut down her brain and to act hell-bent on getting her own way – no matter what. This is the typical Morgana-style.

We could start a discussion about who is more stupid, Arthur for not having enough brain or Morgana for not using it. But this doesn’t help. The ugly truth is that both Pendragons are far away from being good (not to mention legendary) kings/queens – at least not alone.

However, we are still not finished with Morgana handling her doom. There is a bunch of emotions during her first encounter with Emrys. Accordingly, she shuts down her brain and acts completely controlled by instincts. Our lovely witchy is attracted by her own doom like a moth to a flame. Even more, she starts to stalk and hunt her doom. Come on Morgana! Nobody runs after the Grim Reaper. Wait! Grim Reaper?

This is obviously a metaphor for the doom part – btw a good one (Self-praise is no recommendation.)

But why is the quote about destiny AND doom? Why is it not just doom? Did I miss something?

Let’s think about this. The meaning of doom seems to be obvious. Bad luck; bane; downfall; ruin; catastrophe; blah blah. You can use dozens of words but the meaning is very simple DEATH.

But who the hell needs the destiny part? It should be tricky for Morgana to fulfill a destiny as a ghost. Who cares? She will be dead after all. So what’s all this crap about destiny? Unless…? Who says that destiny and doom must be the same?

I did already indicate my doubts about the Kilgharrah quote - okay all of them are bullshit. Killing Morgana shouldn’t be so simple because of the entire circumstances. Merlin’s immortality and the related part of a future joined with Morgana. Who knows? Maybe she was right that no (mortal) blade can kill her.

Too much speculation? Possible. But one thing is sure. Both, Merlin and Morgana, are very busy with ruining the other one. Of course, they don’t realize that this is usually related to trouble and doom for themselves. Finally, we end this chapter with the infamous word “doom”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the second chapter. I hope you had some fun and I will be always thankful for suggestions of further phrases and memorial sentences.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s come to this new chapter. I want to be fair to every character. Therefore I decided to focus on Arthur and Gwen this time (last chapter was Merlin and Morgana).

**“He’s always been so strong. He lifted his kingdom from its knees, Gaius. To see him now...”**

**“I am sure that, over time, he will recover. But until then, we have to make plans, Arthur. We need you to assume control.” — Arthur and Gaius on Uther**

This is part of the talk between Arthur and Gaius in „The Tears of Uther Pendragon“, after Uther has been declared no longer able to lead Camelot.

For me it’s one of the most telling moments of the entire show. SADLY.

For understanding my disappointment you have to consider the circumstances and consequences of this talk. Arthur has become regent king and Uther is not dead. It’s just a kind of early retirement because of some healthy issues, which makes it impossible for him to order executions as quickly as before. The important part here is that nobody blames magic for this (except Gaius and Merlin!)

In summary, it’s the perfect point of time to realize the dream of Albion (peace, free magic, blah blah), which was promised to us since the beginning of the show. HAPPY END? Nope.

But why? What the hell is the problem? Gaius (including Merlin and everyone else in Camelot) says that they will support Arthur in every way possible. That is exactly the situation, which Merlin and Gaius (and the TV viewers) have been waiting for. It’s high time to have a serious and most important honest talk about magic.

This is the most important point, not just because of (nasty) things like justice and freedom, but also because of Camelot’s safety. There is no better way to secure Arthur’s possibility to “assume control” than to stop the war against magic. There is no magical danger if nobody has reasons to hate/attack Camelot.

As you can see, I was extremely pissed off by this moment in the show. Nothing of all the promised hallelujah did happen, although it was so close and simple. In the contrary, the main priority of Merlin and Gaius is to put Uther back on the throne. Besides this they have time to chat about all the innocent children murdered in the Great Purge, but not the slightest attempt to actually help Arthur?

It’s not even necessary to emphasize that neither Merlin nor Gaius did ever tell Arthur the truth about magic and his birth. Not after Uther’s death, not after the shrine incident, not after the several times where Arthur used magic for his own benefits – just not. There is only one absolute statement about this topic “There can be no place for magic in Camelot.” WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE GUYS?

This is an absolute insolence from these self-proclaimed “friends of magic”. It’s sickening, especially if you remember the events from episode “The sins of the father”. Arthur had learned the truth about his birth and more important the crimes of Camelot against magic. There was a tiny moment, where Arthur had real respect for a magic user and I’m totally sure he was going to lift the ban against magic. Moreover, the people of Camelot (and the knights) would have support him. BUT NO.

Merlin and Gaius decided that this should not happen, because little Arthur was not allowed to know that his daddy isn’t as perfect as he pretends to be. They had no problem to approve a continuation of the terror and genocide against magic people for decades (natural lifetime of Uther) and to increase Arthur’s hate against magic. But hey, this was okay as long as Arthur can have a nice and peaceful sleep.

Okay, maybe an annoying guy (like me) would have said something about actually talking to Arthur; trying to convince him to arrest or banish Uther. But this is Merlin. He is Emrys and Emrys can’t be wrong. All the others “can find another way”.

In summary, the episode “The Tears of Uther Pendragon” was perfect the situation for Arthur to become king without any blaming, neither magic nor himself. But Merlin and Gaius didn’t allow it. No saving the world, blah…, no Albion, blah…, no Golden Age. There is no denying about this. It was all a lie.

W H Y ? ? ?

What problem could Merlin and Gaius possibly have with Arthur becoming the promised Once and Future king?

Well, I might have my secret speculations, but I’m not going to tell you here, because I have no wish to mess up with all Merlin-fans. (Psst! It’s written in my first fic.)

Nevertheless, in this chapter we are going to follow the explanation of the show: “Arthur is not ready yet.” That is the typical argument, even in the last season. If not now, then when? The answer has something in common with an advertising slogan: “SOON”.

However, I can’t escape the feeling that Merlin’s trust in Arthur is quite limited, although he is telling otherwise all the time and is sacrificing so much/many for him. This sounds a little nasty of me, doesn’t it? But this is not my intention. I do not even blame Merlin, because I do vividly remember King Arthur.

“…I miss my father’s wisdom and strength…“, “…You can’t blame me for my father’s sins…”, etc. etc.

This guy does not even trust himself. You can hardly blame someone for not believing in this king. I do not even talk about the Once and Future King, who is supposed to bring love, peace and harmony. Seriously, Merlin and Gaius have damn good reasons to doubt this prophecy, although they would never admit it.

There is just more about being a king than running into every battle while shouting “For the love of Camelot“. Every knight can do better.

STOP! Isn’t it Merlin’s job to help Arthur becoming the legendary king? Being a true friend is more than just saying “You are so great.” It should also include honesty and open advises against doing wrongs. Yeah, I know the crucial word is honesty, instead of praising daddy’s kingdom all the time. (Psst Merlin! Uther is dead. It can’t hurt anymore!)

However, let’s have a look on Merlin’s way to support his friend: Season 4 episode 12 “The Sword in the Stone”: Arthur had to flee from Camelot and feels depressed. But Merlin convinces him to pull a sword from a rock. Do you believe that things like this do really help Arthur to become the Once and Future king?

Err… I don’t think so. Seriously, this guy was full of self-doubts but Merlin makes him believe that he has some kind of superpowers. If you tell an instable person that he is some kind of god then you don’t have to wonder if he gets killed (not to mention all the other guys following). Moreover, Merlin did it by magic cheating and Arthur hates magic. Am I the only one who sees a problem with that?

Phew! That was my little review on Gaius’s and Merlin’s attempts to make Arthur become the Once and Future king – or not. Was it too mean? Maybe, but I didn’t favor any of them – at least this is fair.

However, the more interesting topic is to find a better way to actually solve the problem. Any suggestions? Would you have told Arthur the truth about his daddy? Please note you are just a servant, who could easily loose his/her head.

**“All I know is that no one would sacrifice more for Camelot or for you than Gwen.” — Merlin to Arthur on Gwen**

The first quote was about Arthur’s abilities as king. But we all know that behind every great man there’s a great woman Therefore the second quote deals with Gwen or Queen Guinevere. A special focus shall be put on the statement comes from Merlin. Remember, that is the same guy, who burned down entire armies with a lightning for his king. What the hell could Gwen do to beat this?

I want to discuss this by asking the majesty herself. In order to make this more interesting we will also include her thoughts into this. That is the part I like most about writing these fics. We can happily speculate what’s going on in the heads of our loved/hated heroes and villains.

To illustrate this I want to copy a concept from the TV, where the conscience and internal thoughts of a person are shown as a tiny angel and a tiny devil on the shoulders of this person.

But we are talking about Gwen, the much-loved queen of Camelot. She is one of the good guys. Therefore, we can assume that the tiny angel is responsible for all of her decisions and statements. That leaves the devil. Well, who could do this? Me! Here are some randomly selected (LOL) statements of our queen, where her internal devil is written in italic font. Gwen to Arthur: “I trust you Arthur. More than Uther, more than any man.” – _That’s true you are better than the tyrant, who killed my father and tried to kill me several times. But not really hard. And other men? What do they have in mind, just drinking and fighting all the time?_

Gwen to Morgana: “You know I have always been loyal to you Morgana and I always will be.” – _Unless it turns out you have magic, than I would betray you without a second thought. Hey, it would increase my chances to become queen. What a coincidence._

Gwen to Arthur: “All I have ever wanted is to be your queen.” – _Queen, queen, queen… sorry I was just daydreaming._

Gwen to Sefa: “I may be the Queen, but you don’t have to hide your secrets from me.” – _Unless it’s magic … The law of Camelot comes first no matter what._

Gwen to Arthur: “I will watch you to going to the king that Camelot deserves.” – _And I will be the queen that Camelot deserves._

Gwen on looking after Uther: I don’t do it for him. I do it for Arthur. – _Every sacrifice for Arthur is justified no matter what._

Gwen to Lancelot: “As long as I live, my feelings for you will never fade.” _– That doesn’t mean that I can’t ignore my feelings if needed. A life is a damn long time._

Well, what’s your opinion about this? Did we learn something new about Queen Guinevere’s willingness to sacrifice things for Arthur?

I guess it’s most important to emphasize her change from a former shy wallflower to a Queen with elbows. That is especially clear when focusing on phrases like “always” or “as long as I live”. Such promises have a rather limited date of expiry. Moreover, I dare to say that Queen Guinevere has become the driving force in season 5.

I want to illustrate this on the most crucial topic of the show – magic. There is a difference between king and queen in season 5. At some points, I had the feeling that Arthur was ready to think about magic (at least he pretended to do so). For instance, the direct question to Merlin… Damn, no more joking about Merlin’s heroic effort to free magic.

Sorry, back to the topic “Magic-and-Gwen”. It’s very interesting to observe this or should I say it’s full of conflicts. Just to remember we are talking about the same woman who lost her father because of being accused of sorcery and was sentenced to death several times. But, she used to nurse Uther for more than a year. Of course, it’s all about Arthur. Nevertheless, I have a feeling that there is more about this than just her growing relationship with Arthur (and the related increase in power).

Who is Gwen blaming for all the loss and pain related to these false accusations of sorcery? Is it Uther and the laws of Camelot or is it the “evil of magic”? That is the actual question: What did corrupt Morgana magic or Camelot? Well, I know my answers, but I’m not sure about Gwen’s. I will leave this to the readers. I’m just reminding on Queen Guinevere’s reaction at Gaius’s statement that nothing has changed for the druids since Uther’s death. A shrug. Or think about her servant. Yes, that one who was offered friendship by the queen and begged for freedom and acceptance for her magic family. A death sentence as bait to kill the father. Would Gwen have been sad if Sefa was killed too?

You could almost tend to believe that servant Gwen has learned quite well from Uther after being with him for so long and Queen Guinevere is using this knowledge.

Another motivation might be that such drastic measures prove you as worthy queen. A past as servant can be a problem among all the noble lords and ladies.

It’s all a question of the personal perspective and circumstances.

However, let’s come to the answer of our question. What is Gwen willing to sacrifice for Arthur? Well, we do only know about some friendships. Is there something more?

**PS:** Oh yeah, I almost forgot the tiny word from the quotes – QUEEN. It appears quite often, doesn’t it? Just a coincidence.


	4. Chapter 4

**“It’s not Uther’s job to be liked.” – Gaius on Uther**

Err… yes. That’s true.

This goes without saying. Strange. But we are talking about my fic. I must always put in my two cents and I will try not to keep it this way. I guess a few funny and nasty comments are possible anyway.

What is about this one? It’s one thing to say that “It’s not Uther’s job to be liked”, but this is true for many things. I don’t like my job every day. Nobody likes his/her boss every day. Nevertheless, they are good for something, otherwise they wouldn’t get respected or more important paid. So who is paying and respecting Uther?

Let’s have a look on the population of Camelot… err problem. Who exactly is part of Camelot’s population?

Do druids and other magic users count as real inhabitants of Camelot? Their pure existence is a crime. But it’s totally okay to demand taxes and to administer justice. Crazy? Yes, but this is what people call `being king´. Oh I love politics. It becomes really confusing during Arthur’s reign, because of his special understanding of “his peace with the druids”. However, Uther is used to the simple way: thumb down, executioner’s ax falls, you are dead.

Short version, half of the people living in Camelot can be neglected on our search for Uther-fans. ...Uther-fans???... What’s about the non-magical ones? To be honest, I simply don’t know what to think about them. Can we call them brainwashed zombies or is it more correct to say poor fellows who are just scared. I guess a mix of both is true. But there are definitely no real supporters of Uther. At least I haven’t seen a celebration after Uther’s death. Okay, not fair Arthur wouldn’t be amused. On the other side, have you seen anyone crying? I mean except Arthur. So I still miss the grief about the death of the great king Uther. What did Gaius say about him? Uther brought peace and prosperity to the kingdom. I demand tears!

Okay, let’s be fair. It might be a little hard for farmers, servants and all the others to cry for a king, who used to put them in the stocks or executioner’s ax at a whim. Merlin, Gwen and Gaius can tell you a thing or two about it.

You have to consider that the lifespan of the normal population is quite limited in Camelot. For instance, do you remember the moment when the lady Morgana had to steal food from the palace kitchen? Otherwise, the knights wouldn’t be able to have their military parade because of all the bodies on the streets of Camelot. Dead and dying people have no time to cry for a king, who did mainly expect clapping of hands while standing on the executioner’s balcony. Okay, now it’s time for real candidates. Who could give Uther’s funeral oration? I mean those who did benefit from him. What is about the court chronicler Geoffrey of Monmouth? No tears. What is about his military commanders, like Sir Leon? A “Long life the king”, but no tears. To be fair, he has no reasons to cry. After all prince Arthur spends most of his time on the training ground. For a knight it can only get better with him on the throne. Okay, what is about Gaius, Uther’s most trusted…more important Uther’s only friend? Nope. How is this possible? Gaius was the guy who gave us all praises on the great king, even after his own death sentence.

Guys I’m shocked. We’re running out of candidates for Uther’s funeral oration. But we have one last hope. Drum rolls, please. The kids. Yep…NO! Damn it! Little daughter send him to hell. After all she promised something like this in season 2, didn't she? His own fault. Even in a best-case scenario, she was a political marriage, otherwise... yep a witch.

That leaves the one and only ... King Arthur Pendragon. The son is all proud of the father. Like father, like son. He is the one, who adopted daddy’s attitude of magic right at Uther’s deathbed: magic-is-good-as-long-you-use-it-for-your-own-ends ... otherwise head off.

So we did it. We found someone who cried real tears. Yee-haw! Or maybe not…? Didn’t Arthur send Uther back to the spirits world? At least we found a common thing between the Pendragon siblings.

Houston, we have a problem! We might have found the basic for a possible reconciliation between Arthur and Morgana, but we didn’t find one true fan of Uther.

Therefore, we have no other choice than to ask following question: Why was Uther on the throne FOR SO LONG??? Yes, I know it’s the dark ages and no democracy blah blah... Nevertheless, it’s not possible for one single person to rule an entire kingdom completely on his own. There must be someone supporting him. But why? Who could possible enjoy serving Uther?

Well, the simple answer would be Merlin. Yes, I am not crazy - at least not more than normal. I do clearly remember an episode where Merlin was quite proud of Uther thanking him. Do you remember that episode? I might help you it was the one where Merlin repeated the lie about Arthur's birth. Yeah! Merlin made sure that Uther will be on the throne for decades and Arthur will follow his father's way of dealing with magic. Truly a reason to celebrate.

But besides this... There must be some guys more plausible than our favorite idiot. It’s just too stupid that we can’t ask somebody, since Camelot has crumbled into dust. But we can look for an answer in the nowadays. As people say, history repeats itself.

Come on let’s `create´ a new Uther. It might seem a little surprising but I did already found two candidates in the 21. century, where we can borrow a piece of Uther.

 **Candidate 1** : The queen of England. Okay, please don’t think I lost my mind and put me in the Tower. We just want a tiny detail of her majesty. Do you remember the time when Princess Diana died? Not really a highlight for the monarchy, but it’s still one of the most important things about England – more than ever.

So here comes the one-million dollar question: What is the common thing between the queen of England and Uther? Diana is the modern version of Ygraine. I dare to say that most people in Camelot bear the reign of the Grinch to honor the memory of their loved Queen Ygraine. It doesn’t really matter what Uther is doing. Someday Ygraine’s son will be king. You see we don’t need somebody crying for Uther, we just need somebody crying for his late wife.

 **Candidate 2:** Donald Trump. What do these guys have in common? The hair. Do you remember this great episode “Goblin’s Gold”, where the baldheaded Uther scowled at everyone? Just too funny. Btw. Does anybody know the truth about The Donald’s hair? Is it a wig? However, you don’t recognize a king because of the crown it’s the (wonderful) hair. Okay, it’s the ego. A great person needs a big ego, as big as the castle of Camelot or the Trump Tower.

Okay, a little more serious please. We’re discussing an important question. It might be helpful to have some useful enemy stereotypes. It doesn’t really matter who: sorcerers, Mexicans, servants who are married to Arthur, women, blah blah. The good thing about these poor guys is that everyone needs somebody to blame for, but nobody wants to do the dirty job, like executing people or throwing people over a big wall.

It’s time for the summary. Nobody in Camelot does really like Uther, not even his kids. But most of the people are poor fellows manipulated by brainwashing. It’s just too easy to follow the majority and to hope for Ygraine’s son. Psst! This guy is as brainwashed as the rest of you?

Unfortunately, all this is no excuse for the benefit-guys in Camelot. I will not call you by name, but the Gaius’s, Leon’s and so on do very well know what I’m talking about.

**“It’s lonely to be more powerful than any man you know and have to live like a shadow. I know how it feels, I understand.” – Merlin to Gilli**

So lonely lonely.

Who wouldn’t understand this? Poor poor Merlin.

But why is he so lonely? I’m just saying there are so many nice people to talk. Gaius, Gilli, Freya, Alator … I know what you’re thinking. These are all people with the same secret, like some kind of magic support group. But what is about Lancelot? All together there is a quite big group of people for a funny poker night.

Our favorite hero is quite communicative especially if you consider that his secret could easily kill him (and all the others).

“Hello! Is there someone with magic here? I might not know you, but this is okay. I’m Merlin/Emrys, your promised savior.” Sorry, but this is not really my understanding of “…to live like a shadow.”

It’s no wonder that every druid, priest and common sorcerer was eager to shake hands with the great Emrys.

Moreover, Merlin did even share his secret with his prophesied enemies, like Mordred. Don’t get me wrong, I do really support honesty and sincerity. I’ve just one tiny comment about this: Please, do me a favor and stop calling it secret. It’s ridiculous.

Granted, Arthur and Morgana being unable to see the forest for the trees is even more ridiculous. There is the topic again – being blind to obvious things. It’s also a good opportunity to mention the blindness of Camelot’s guards. These guys are almost stereotypes of the phrase.

Back to the topic, we did just realize that our infamous warlock is quite a big tattletale. It’s quite surprising that he is still alive in Camelot. Moreover, he is happy with it. Let’s have a view on a typical day in Merlin’s life. A little joke around with his best friend the king at the morning; afternoon tea with the queen; a magic book from his surrogate father Gaius as bedtime reading.

Sorry, I must have missed something once again. This is Camelot in the dark ages, isn’t it? We are talking about evil magic hating tyrants on the throne with stakes and executioner’s axes all the time, don’t we? Nevertheless, I can’t escape the feeling that Merlin’s life is not so… lonely. What is he complaining about? Any idea?

Guys, I have a theory. But it’s a little nasty. Whatever!

Maybe, Merlin is referring to something different. Maybe, it’s not even Merlin, who complains in the quote. It is Emrys. Yes, I know these two are the same person, but they behave pretty different.

Merlin is the naive farm boy from Ealdor, who had a mother, a friend (who was killed pretty soon) and some dumb animals to talk. Indeed, pretty lonely. But things changed when he came to Camelot. There is an entire kingdom to talk – magic and non-magic people. Moreover most of his friends are VIPs. The Camelot-Merlin must be perfectly happy. But what is about Emrys? The almighty, all-knowing and prophesied dragonlord and savor of the world doesn’t even know the word `friend´. As you see, it can be very tricky to have a split personality.

Nobody is really talking to Emrys. Even dragons and high priests are more eager to throw themselves at his feet.Poor Emrys.

Come on everybody, we have to help him! Just to remember here is the special problem of Emrys: “… to be more powerful than any man…”. Yep it’s so simple. We need a woman. Surprise, I doo already know the perfect one. She has the same problem of having so much power… Okay, maybe it’s more a delusion of power. However, I’m pretty sure you know her too. These two have so much in common so they could spend years of arguing, flirting, trying to kill each other, etc. It doesn’t matter. The important point is that we solved the problem. Nobody is lonely. Congratulations!

There is just one thing remaining. The second part of our quote is quite interesting: “I know … I understand.” Sounds quite familiar, doesn’t it? Here are some other quotes from the show:

“I know now who I really am…” – Morgana to Merlin

“Don’t think I don't understand…” – Morgana to Merlin

“I know I can trust you Merlin…” – Morgana to Merlin

“…can you hope to understand…” – Morgana to Merlin

“I’ve known her all my life.” – Arthur on Morgana

“You should’ve known … you will understand…” – Gaius to Arthur

“…I think I know you, Merlin.” – Arthur to Merlin

“You know me, Merlin…” – Arthur to Merlin

“I... want you to know…” – Arthur to Guinevere

Isn’t this great? Everyone knows everything, everyone understands everyone. This is what people call `love, peace and harmony´. Sorry, where the hell is the problem?

Oh yeah, it’s just bullshit.

Unfortunately, this is the one and only truth about the entire story of Merlin. It’s full of very powerful or even almighty characters. Sorcerers, kings, high priestess, queens, knights and so on but nobody knows or understands anything. Nobody has the simple power to speak up or at least to listen carefully. SO SAD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize to all readers from UK and US for borrowing two of your people. I would have done it with my own government, but our chancellor Merkel lacks every kind of character and personality.


	5. Chapter 5

**“You know Merlin, all those jokes about you being a coward. I never really meant any of them. I always thought you were the bravest man I ever met. I guess I was wrong.” Arthur to Merlin before Camlann**

What a statement?! There is nothing more to say about it, isn’t it? Oh yes, there is a lot.

I truly love this quote, since we can play my favorite game. Speculation. What is this guy thinking?

But before the actual start we have to put ourselves in the right mood for this. Okay, close your eyes and take a deep breath. You are Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot. Do you feel the power and responsivity? Your people look up at you. A tiny movement of your hand makes hordes of servants run around, utterly fearless knights jump into fray and … executioner’s ax fall (only sometimes). However, countless cheers “Long life the King!” sound through the halls of Camelot. Oh yeah, you could easily get used to it, couldn’t you?

That is the right attitude. We are all Once and Future Kings now. Let’s get into action. We face the biggest challenge ever – the battle of Camlann. We are totally outnumbered against a hostile army of barbarian Saxons. Moreover, they have powerful and evil sorcerers on their side. They are going to destroy the whole of Camelot and its inhabitants.

BUT they underestimated King Arthur. Now it’s our time. Leadership skills, knightly honor and bravery are the only things that matters. We will motivate our friends and knights. We might have no chance, but we will use it. “For the love of Camelot!!!”

STOP! This statement on the top is our best motivation speech? Really?

Sorry guys, that can’t be true. Our knights would run away, not to mention over to the enemy when they hear something like this. And this is true for knights, can you even imagine the reaction of a servant? We couldn’t even blame Merlin, because we did tell him to do so. We did literally tell him to be a coward. This statement is some kind of royal carte blanche.

So, it’s time for a first interim conclusion: Our role as leader was crap. We can’t count on Merlin in the coming battle. Merlin’s help? Maybe our speech wasn’t that bad at all. I mean look at Merlin. He can’t even hold a sword properly. He would be just another obstacle in the coming battle. Therefore, we should see our statement in a different way. Good job guys. We did it.

Nevertheless, the king part didn’t work very well. So we will focus on the other part. Attention guys, I’m going to reveal a big secret: Arthur Pendragon is a human, too. So we can discuss the intentions of the human part inside of us. Why would we say something like this to our servant…our friend?

We are going for a battle… no not just any battle. It will be the final battle after all. There is a very good chance that we will not come back. So, our last words to Merlin were a Goodbye. Granted, a really strange way of saying goodbye. Not the usual stuff of “It was an honor to know you.” or “Good luck!” You can very well say that our Goodbye was rather fitting for a bitter angry man, a guy who is only interested in mocking a useless servant and coward. And what’s the end of the story? Merlin will always remember what we thought about him in the last days of our life.

Just one question: Does anybody feel good about it? No answer. Me too.

Whatever! Being a king means to make difficult choices. Merlin will understand it. He knew us for many years.

However, back to the topic. There are more important things than the feelings of a mere servant. There is something that makes me think we are not actually responsible for our statement. There is someone else, who `inspired´ us to the statement. Do you remember this conversation?

“I thought we were friends. … But alas, we were both wrong.”

It sounds surprisingly similar to our statement, doesn’t it? That can’t be a coincidence. We wouldn’t copy a speech from our mad sister. There are only two explanations:

  1. The witch has enchanted us.
  2. Our relationships to Merlin and Morgana are more similar than we have expected. We trusted them more than a king should have done. Camelot must come first.



What do you think? Explanation 1 would be the simple one. We like simple solutions without open questions.

Nevertheless, there is a common thing in our relationships to Merlin and Morgana. We trusted both of them. Yes, we did not really show it. A king can’t be saved by a woman or a servant. No problem we hide it very well by constant teasing and bickering. They might have been useful when it comes to the research stuff about magic creatures and dangers. But there’s nothing like men’s work. The hero wields the sword.

We might have referred to their opinion from time to time, but there is no meaning in it. A crown prince and king of Camelot has more important duties after all. This is exact the point that these two would never understand. I mean just have a look at Merlin’s daily routine: bringing food, cleaning the stables … All kid stuff. I’m not even talking about Morgana. Make up and flirting with the lords. Urgh!

Forget it! We can’t waste more time with thinking. Camelot needs a king, who isn’t consumed by irrational thoughts about a servant who might or might not have something in common with an evil witch.

Btw. Our true attitude to Merlin is totally unimportant. An idiot, a coward, a friend…who cares? There was so much joking, lying and teasing after all these years. I don’t even know the truth by myself.

** “Before I let you pass, I’ll give you a little advice, as Courage, there are two more things you’ll need to complete your quest: Strength and Magic.” – Grettir the gnome to Arthur (S03, E08)  **

** AND  **

** “I failed.” – Gwaine; the very last episode **

That’s an interesting challenge from a reader. It’s not just because of having a quote from very different seasons. More important, we are talking about a trio (I bite back a comment about being a love triangle.) consisting of Courage (Arthur), Strength (Gwaine) and Magic (Merlin).

This trio part is especially important and funny to me, because of the complete contrast to previous talking about our duo/coin pair Merlin-Arthur.

It begs for a provoking statement. The mentioned quest in the quote does not just refer to finding some obscure and totally unimportant Trident from the Fischer king. Did you hear anything from this stupid thing after that episode? Nope. So it’s absolutely believable that the word quest refers to the entire situation in and around Camelot. This is the basic for my nasty and provoking statement is: They had to fail!

But it’s a little too early for this right now. After all, we can’t blame our two standard heroes, just because the `assistant´ hero came a little too late. There are many other interesting questions, which should be discussed first.

For instance, I think it’s really questionable that our much-loved smartass dragon never mentioned something about Gwaine’s role in the prophecy stuff? It’s very unlikely that a tiny gnome is wiser than a giant 1000 years old dragon. I guess this is what people call `small but mighty´. Or in other words, I find it hard to believe that the gnome fudged all this mystic stuff about Strength, Courage and Magic. That leaves only two possible explanations:

  1. The gnome is the best liar in the whole world.
  2. The lizard kept a secret from us.



What is your opinion?

I mean the name Strength must be something special. This is more than just having muscles otherwise we would talk about Percival. Therefore, I’m totally sure the word Strength indicates a mysterious, special or even magic… Ups, I forgot that is forbidden at all. Whatever! The laws of Camelot were never a thing that actually matters to these guys. I’m not even referring to the king’s habit of using magic to his own ends. He himself is a magic `accident´. Actually following the laws would mean that half of Camelot’s nobles, knights and heroes would run around without their head on the shoulders.

So guys, let’s come back to Gwaine being `forgotten´ by Kilgharrah. Lancelot was “the bravest and most noble of them all”, which is quite surprising since he didn’t make it very long. What is about Gwaine? Is he just a nobody or a guy in the tavern?

Even Kilgharrah-fans (do they even exist?) must admit that his information politics is quite … Oh come on. Forget it this lizard didn’t tell anything.

But he is not the only one. `Mr. Magic´ Merlin is the almighty Emrys, but of course he would never think about asking, neither Gaius, Kilgharrah, Alator nor someone else. Psst Merlin! Reading on your own is an option as well. It doesn’t hurt. I know what you think right now. We do already know Merlin. He is obsessed and doesn’t think in Emrys-mode. That story is as old as the hills.

So, let’s focus on the trio part. Trio. Why does it feel wrong to write it?

The original meaning indicates equal participation, which is already quite tricky considering the simple hierarchy of the show: King – Sir knight – servant.

Despite of this I can’t escape the feeling that the phrase to be the fifth (third) wheel is more fitting here.

I want to discuss the three parts of this trio more detailed.

**Part 1 Arthur:** The number speaks for itself. He is the center of all this, although he is not even aware of it. For Merlin, there is no one else. For Gwaine, it’s the all-time favorite “Long live the king”.

**Part 2 Merlin:** Our mere servant at position 2, directly behind the king. But why? Well, I was strictly following the quote suggested by the reader mentioned above and so I watched the episode S03 E08 once again. There is a nice talk between two people of our `trio´.

Merlin: “Why do you want to do this?”

Gwaine: “Same reason as you. To help a friend.”

Merlin: “Arthur’s lucky to have us.”

Gwaine: „Not Arthur.”

In summary, Gwaine has a different order. Merlin is the first; Arthur yeah maybe.

**Part 3 Gwaine:** Only part 3. Sad? Just a little bit. After all, there is also something good about being number 3. It offers me a chance for a tiny nastiness that I can’t avoid: Merlin and Gwaine protect Arthur; Gwaine protects Merlin. So far, so good. But is anyone protecting Gwaine?

Our team is no trio at all. To be accurate it’s not even a duo, since Arthur is not aware of the partnership with Merlin. It’s more a supposed-to-be team of Merlin’s personal imagination. New interim conclusion: team building FAIL.

But what is about their common aim? As I said, that stupid Trident of the Fischer King was just a waste of time. Do they even know what they are actually fighting for? Please don’t tell me the only answer is `protecting Arthur´. So, I’m waiting. What is the true aim of the magic team Arthur-Merlin-Gwaine?

Sometimes a well-known phrase is very true: `No answer is an answer.´

Let’s come to the final conclusion. What do you think about my provocation from the beginning: They had to fail! Well, there are 3 loosely mixed guys without real team spirit and without real aims.

If I think about all of this, I find it fair to ask following question: Was it an incident that the third wheel (Gwaine) bites the dust at first? I could answer something like: He said it himself. “I failed.” But this is far too simple for my liking. Gwaine is not the only one. There are at least three losers. At the end, is anyone winning in the show?

Gwaine could also see it from a very different perspective. He didn’t fail. Granted, the attack on Morgana was nothing more than a kamikaze mission. But your friend (Merlin) is totally fine. He survived the entire war stuff unscathed. Okay, he is a little bit older now, but this is absolutely normal after 1500 years. I’ve recently seen him in the supermarket.


	6. Chapter 6

**“What if magic isn’t something you choose? What if it chooses you?”**

That is one of these quotes I wanted to write all the time. For me it is one of the most important moments in the first season. I like it very much, because the characters there are still humans and the hype on heroes and villains is not as big as in the end of the show. I know I’m one of these guys who have a bitch about Merlin, but it’s more about his split personality Emrys. I did really like Merlin in the first seasons.

I’ve seen this episode recently. Although I knew what’s going to happen in this specific scene I was still thinking “Come on Merlin. Open your mouth!”

However, let’s come to the real part. I want to honor this quote accordingly. Therefore, I decided to play what-if games.

Morgana’s question was about the possibility that magic chooses you instead of the other way round. I guess most of us agree that the answer must be a big YES.

That indicates that magic is some kind of intelligent creature. I’m not religiously or spiritually involved in this, but this totally unimportant here. We are talking about a “land of myths and magic” after all. Nevertheless, one question must be discussed: Who or what is magic? Well, for some unknown reasons I do always think about a woman – without any hidden agendas. Btw. isn’t the triple goddess a female one?

However, from now on the intelligent creature will be called Lady Magic. Is everyone okay with that?

1.) **What if** Lady Magic chooses people, like Morgana, Mordred etc.?

The problem is quite obvious. Giving powerful magic abilities to the `bad guys´ is a bad idea considering the prophecy. There are only two possible explanations for this. Lady Magic is as thick as two short planks or even suicidal.

Possibility 1a: **What if** Lady Magic is as thick as two short planks:

After all Morgana, Mordred and all the others are defined be the bad guys, who are destined to stop the perfect dream team Merlin-Arthur on freeing magic etc.

Okay, this is the easy way, but still too simple for my liking. We have to think about the possibility that Lady Magic is the stereotype of blonde silly with big boobs and a brain the size of a pea. This would be an extremely scaring idea. But it’s very unlikely. After all her descendants are the dragons. These guys see themselves as super wise and all-knowing. And Emrys claims to be magic itself. So he must be some kind of direct descendant from Lady Magic. He is surely no reincarnation of Einstein, but also not completely brainless. Please note that comes from me so there must be a true meaning.

Possibility 1b: **What if** Lady Magic is suicidal:

Let’s put ourselves in her position. She had witnessed her children and follower slaughtered for decades. A fucking good reason to get one or two mental defects. But to be fair, the Dark Ages were hardly a time of psychiatrist and couch whispering. However, a lunatic Lady Emrys would indicate a far more powerful version of Morgana in season 5. Very unlikely, but not entirely impossible.

Possibility 2: **What if** Lady Magic is very smart and has much more seer powers than the stupid dragon. She did know what would have happened if the `bad guys´ had no magic:

So, she gave magic powers to `the villains´ on purpose in order to prevent a far worse ending. Far worse? Yes guys, the final result of the show could have been far worse.

It’s an irony of history that this worse ending is directly related to our supposed-to-be mentors Gaius and Kilgharrah.

Let’s imagine their way to realize Albion. Uther would still sit on this damn throne. Morgana would have been married to some Lord. This is the basic situation, but what is about our heroes?

For imaging this version of Arthur you have to watch the seasons 1-2 and add the factor that Morgana is not there to give him a broad hint every day. I know some of you like to believe that other people might compensate this, but I have to disappoint you. There is no Arthur-Gwen marriage with Uther is on the throne.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about our main hero. Merlin and Arthur would have become a copy-and-paste version of Uther-Gaius. At least, you don’t must imagine this, just look the last seasons. There is only one question remaining in this `ideal world´, where the villains have no magical powers. What is about the entire prophecy? Simple answer: Uther is on the throne and has taken Arthur under his wing.

This is a little disappointing, isn’t it? So I think Lady Magic did a damn good job by giving magic powers to Morgana and Mordred. At least there is one good reason why everyone is talking about good-and-evil, black-and-white, blah blah. It’s a balance thing. Okay, we did it, didn’t we? All what-if questions answered? Wrong. There is still the opposite side.

2.) **What if** Lady Magic decided not to give magic to Arthur, Gwen, the knights etc.: You didn’t think about this, did you? If magic chooses you it can also deny you. That indicates that Lady Magic thought that most of our supposed-to-be heroes are not worth to have magic powers. It might sound very far-fetched, but it is a fact that the entire prophecy stuff would have been much easier in a world where Arthur and his gang have magic.

I don’t want to blame Lady Magic. After all she tried to do something like this. Otherwise it would be a very strange coincidence that Arthur’s existence is the greatest magic gift ever. Unfortunately, he did not use it properly.

But what is about the possibility of a magic wife and queen. It could have changed a lot. This is especially true if you consider that Gwen has been sentenced to death, because of sorcery several times. So the first seasons wouldn’t change, but the last seasons and the outcome of the prophecy could be totally different.

And what is about the knights? Well, at first I must admit that most of the knights are brainless tin soldiers. But this is just my personal opinion and should not affect our game. However, it would have been very strange to see magic knights shouting “For the love of Camelot” when attacking druid camps to eliminate magic. The show might be funny from time to time, but it’s no parody – at least not as far as I know.

In summary, there are some reasons to assume that Lady Magic choose that almost all heroes should not have magic powers. She tried it to some extent with Arthur, but these guys are just incompetent. Granted, Morgana, Merlin, Mordred etc. are not much better either.

**“Why’re you so loyal to Arthur?”**

**“I don’t expect you to understand, Morgana. You have no sense of duty, no sense of loyalty.”**

**“You’re wrong. Don’t think I don’t understand loyalty just because I’ve got no one left to be loyal to.” – Morgana and Merlin in `A servant of two masters´**

This quote is my attempt to answer a review from cathrine10. She was wondering about our Merlin and Morgana. Is it possible that our two lovely idiots could work together to free magic, protect druids, although they cannot be friends anymore? Well, cathrine10 you are not alone with this opinion. Let’s see what we can do about it.

I decided to discuss this by using this specific quote, because this is probably last time that Merlin and Morgana were actually talking. Okay, talking might be the wrong term, but you have to compare it to their usual meetings of curses and magical spells. Therefore, it is almost justified to call the quote above a declaration of love. But there is also another reason to choose this quote. I believe there was still a possibility for a kind of truce at this point of time.

Well, every kind of truce needs a common basis or motivation. So we have to find something that is important for both of them. In that case they could forget their urge to bash each other’s head in, at least for a limited amount of time.

Do you have any idea how to motivate our two? I do.

What is about freeing magic, protecting druids, etc.? After all this is what both of them pretend to do. But what is the actual problem what stops them from doing so? The simple answer would be Arthur. Arthur? Yes, you heard me. Yes, I know he isn’t even there, at least not physically. But he is still haunting them all the time.

Our Once and Future King and savior of the world is the true problem to create a truce between Merlin and Morgana. That might sound very Morgana-like, but is still true. Although Merlin would never call it a problem he is thinking about the same guy as Morgana does. I don’t know your opinion, but I call it a problem if I have to worry about something all the time.

Actually Merlin’s problem with Arthur might be bigger than Morgana’s.

How can you prepare a royal prat for his super important destiny, if you are not allowed or willing to tell him about it? Moreover, his destiny is directly related to magic, but you can’t speak to Arthur about it because of a high probability to lose your head. Additionally to that you have to support Arthur in his hatred for magic, because he is not allowed to know about the truth or to worry about his own role in the war. Do you feel a little confused about the entire thing? Good. Now, you can imagine Merlin’s situation.

However, we have found a common motivation and a common problem. This is actually a good basis for a truce between our two idiots. We are just not allowed to call it a problem because of Merlin. The next step would be to look for a way to fix it. Any ideas?

In principle there are two possibilities to fix the problem … sorry … to handle the Arthur-thing:

**Possibility 1** – Merlin: to wrap him up in cotton wool

This is what Merlin does all the time. Nothing can happen to Arthur; Arthur can’t know anything about the big bad world; Arthur can’t worry about anything; Arthur has to be right; etc.

**Possibility 2** – Morgana: to bump him off

I know it’s a primitive and unimaginative fixing, but much more quick and direct than Merlin’s way. It’s totally Morgana-style – hell-bent on getting her own way.

These are totally contrary ways to fix the Arthur-thing and I must say I hate both. In normal cases I would suggest something like this: Lock them together in a room and throw away the key. So, they can talk it out by their own.

Unfortunately, I have no room that would resist a `friendly talking´ of these two magic users and I’m not sure if everyone would survive such thing. A truce between a survivor and a dead is not really my intention.

That leaves mediation as only remaining possibility. Is there anyone who would like to be the referee in this cockfight between Merlin and Morgana? Nope. So I have to do this job.

Okay guys, we have already established that your positions are quite close to each other. Moreover, we came to the common conclusion that Arthur is the prob … that everything is about Arthur. But it also very important that both of you are quite focused on loyalty. The uncertainty is about the target. Being loyal to what or whom.

Morgana, is there a tiny chance that you might meet Arthur without chopping his head at first sight? We all know you can do it (`The sword of the stone´). He might be your enemy, but he is also your little annoying brother, isn’t he? Think about it. PLEASE!

Merlin, aren’t you sick of cleaning the mist of the Pendragon siblings all the time? Wouldn’t it more easy to fulfill your destiny after giving a few hints to them. Your life could be far more simple without fearing for your own life, without constant magic attacks, without constant hiding… Sounds interesting, doesn’t it?

This talking above is completely about loyalty, but it could help to actually show it from time to time. I mean without reducing the whole world to ashes. You could be loyal to a common aim. An aim? You know the thing you’re claiming to fight for … Stop! Hey, I’ve a feeling you don’t even know it anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

**“With you I can just be who I am. We don’t have to hide anything. We don’t have to worry.” – Merlin, to Freya**

This quote is for a reader. She mentioned the strange relationship between Merlin and Freya in a review. She called it “…Merlin’s one night stand without the sex part”. It motivated me to look for nice quotes to discuss it. At the beginning I was quite skeptic about it since Freya appeared very shortly and only in a few chapters. But the result was quite surprising. I found a lot of them. The quote above is just an example. Here are some others:

“Being different is nothing to be scared of.” – Merlin to Freya

“I don’t think you realize how special you are.” – Merlin to Freya

A very short and shallow conclusion of all these quotes would be: `love, peace and harmony´.

In the world of our would-be love birdies everything is fine. There are no secrets, no fears, no … Urgh! It’s absolutely sickening. It is one thing that we have to put up with things like this in a schmaltzy film, but this is Merlin.

There are many chapters in this fic, where I had to lessen my satire, because of the Dark Ages part. Therefore I was hoping for a chapter like this. I demand war, blood, executions, evil witches and all this stuff, but instead of this I find hand-holding, giving sexy winks to somebody, flirting. It feels like a teeny film. I mean what is wrong with you two? Do I really have to remind you of the truth? You are hiding in stinky caves only living from stolen food while wearing stolen clothes. There is a good chance that you will be imprisoned, tortured and killed very soon. Is this really your understanding of “don’t have to hide anything … don’t have to worry.” Eh?!

I have no problems with being newly in love or viewing the world through rose-colored glasses. I do totally understand it. But your jabbering is just … I can’t even find a word for it. Did you pop some pills or drinks? Magic drugs … that would be worth a consideration. I know some readers might expect me to write something about stereotypes and couples in Las Vegas-style. A short and fierce flirt and whoosh marriage. But is it really so ridiculous to think about this stereotype? How long do they know each other? It’s hardly more than 5 minutes. I do not even mention the fact that Merlin is using magic tricks to impress his girlfriend immediately. What was this tiny word to describe things, which might cost you your head in Camelot? Oh yes, it’s called secret.

In summary these quotes are so full of stereotype without any kind of basic. It does almost hurt to think about it. But why? Why do they say this (let’s assume they are sober)?

All this talking about being different, being special and being who I am might be an indication. We all know that Merlin is no ordinary guy. He is the great almighty Emrys. I did mention this several times in the previous chapters. But this time is different, because it is not about the magic. It is about the resulting consequences. Merlin is special in many many ways, where the magic part is quite trivial.

It can be really tricky to follow his trains of thoughts if you are not destined to save the world. Sometimes I was asking myself: “Is he actually aware what he is doing there? In which world is he living actually?”; “Who the hell is he actually?”

Too much insinuation? Nope. I don’t think so. Merlin might live in Camelot, a kingdom of anti-magic laws and resentments everywhere, but he is not acting accordingly. It is more fitting to assume some kind of magic utopia, usually called Albion.

Btw. Is it a coincidence that the dragon did never say something about any details of the promised dreamland? I have an idea.

Utopia / Albion is so wonderful that you can imagine everything and nothing. Shall we try it? Okay, here comes our Disney… sorry Dreamland. Let’s imagine a magic-loving kingdom where a great king reigns. His name is Arthur Pendragon. It was absolutely no problem that he was taught to hate magic since crib. The friends and families of his victims in his war against magic loved and bowed to him. Everyone was so eager to serve him in acknowledgement of a prophecy thousands of years ago, where a name is mentioned Arthur – nothing more. But the great king was trusting only one person named Emrys, who was lying to him for many many years, even about his name. The king knew that everyone would trust his Round Table consisting of previously magic and druid killing knights. Moreover, his advisor and court physician proved their trustworthiness to the people by being eagerly loyal to the former tyrant king but not to their own kind.

Sorry guys, I know everyone loves prophecies of peace and freedom. Me too. But is it really so nasty of me if I dare to ask a tiny question about this Albion. HOW? How is this going to happen?

Maybe, the only way to achieve this is because of the dream-part of Albion. Everyone can dream of Albion what he / she wants to see in it. This is especially true since Albion shall be the home of very different people with very different dreams. Maybe it was not so bad that we have never seen the realization of Albion. It might be a little disappointing for a few dreamers / inhabitants.

But I want to be fair. Merlin is definitely not the only one, who is very special. His 5-minute girlfriend is everything but normal. There was this tiny thing with night and becoming a bloodthirsty magic creature. Hey cathrine10, we just found the reason why your comment `Merlin’s one night stand without the sex part´ is very fitting. Sex with a Merlin-eating doggy is quite tricky, even for the mighty Emrys.

Maybe … maybe this is the true reason why they were attractive for each other. A servant with a side job as semi-god and savoir of the world meets druid girl with side job as monster. A little strange, but interesting. Opposite attracts.

Nevertheless, I want to ask a question about Freylin. Was there a real chance for a relationship between them? Maybe Freya was too normal for Emrys, although this tiny monster-problem. Let’s have a look on her rivals. After all Merlin / the ladykiller was using his naive farm boy charm during the first seasons quite efficiently. We could seem him flirting not just with the future Queen Guinevere, but also the two sexy witches Nimueh and Morgana.

**“You did what you thought was right.”**

Oh yeah, we all know this quote. It has been said and heard day after day by almost every character in Camelot. Here is a tiny and limited collection of slightly different version of this quote.

“Sometimes you’ve got to do what you think is right, and damn the consequences.” – Morgana to Arthur (`The Poisoned Chalice´)

“You’ve always done what you believe to be right.” Gaius to Uther (`A remedy to cure all ills´)

“I did what I thought was right.” – Morgana to Uther (`The Beginning of the End´)

“You can only do what you believe to be right, Merlin.” – Gaius to Merlin (`The Beginning of the End´)

“But most of all, you have always taught me to do what is right.” – Merlin to Gaius (`Le Morte d'Arthur´)

“It’s not your fault, you were only doing what you thought was right.” – Gaius to Merlin (`The Nightmare Begins´)

“You did the right thing.” – Gaius to Merlin (`The Fires of Idirsholas´)

“You did what you felt was right, …” – Kilgharrah to Merlin & “You have to follow what you believe is right.” – Gwen to Arthur (`The Tears of Uther Pendragon: Part Two´)

“You were only doing what you thought was right.” – Merlin to Arthur (`The Wicked Day´)

“I know in my heart I’ve made the right decision. – Arthur to Merlin & “I did what I felt was right in my heart.” (`Lancelot to Gwen Lancelot du Lac´)

“I have done what I have believed to be right.” – Arthur to ghost Uther; “You have always done what you believed to be right.” – Merlin to Arthur; “You’ve always done what you believed to be right even if you knew your father would disapprove of it.” – Merlin to Arthur & “I have to do what I believe to be right.” – Arthur to ghost Uther (all `The Death Song of Uther Pendragon´)

Phew! More than I thought. But these are just the obvious version. Actually, the “… I believe …” or “… I thought …”- part has left out in most of such quotes. Of course. Isn’t it obvious that the thinking and believing of these people are absolutely true? After all we are talking about kings and queens, super powerful witches and warlocks. In summary, you will be always right if you have an ego with the size of an entire castle.

But seriously, it seems quite pathetic, doesn’t it? All of them know that they have done something stupid. They are just too stubborn or proud to admit it. So, they have two possibilities to handle it. They can try to fix it or they can look for someone, who is going to support them, telling that they had only the best intentions. I guess we will try the latter one.

I know idiot-bashing is great fun – believe me I do totally enjoy writing these lines very much. But we want to have a closer look on our main characters. Who is especially desperate for support and comfort from others?

Candidate 1 – Merlin / Emrys: One thing is quite remarkable. The more Merlin is involved in the conflict between Camelot vs. magic the stronger is his hunger for this quote and the related slaps on his back. The hero and savior of the world is constantly running to his surrogate father Gaius. It might be my personal opinion, but I find it sad that Merlin’s behavior is so predictable. At the end of the show it’s more a running gag than anything else.

Surprisingly, it’s mostly reduced to only one moment, even in reincarnation fics. Why did he poison Morgana? All other incidences are more or less slightly changed copy-and-paste versions of this specific moment.

The principle of the Merlin-Gaius connection is very simple. The father is always saying his son has done his very best – predictable and hardly neutral. It was either Morgana or the whole of Camelot. As I said very simple. I don’t want to discuss this topic here, since I have already done this in a previous fic. This time I’m more interested in Merlin’s and Gaius’s way to handle it.

Well, Merlin and Gaius are always emphasizing that there was no other choice. Why do they do this? Let’s assume that is true why repeating obvious things all the time – over and over again? It’s almost annoying. What is the true reason behind this constant lamenting? Feelings of guilt? Why? Merlin saved Camelot, didn’t he?

I’m not going to answer this. That’s your job! But I guess we all agree that these repeated talking is either desperate or pathetic. Both. I would almost dare to say that Merlin and Gaius are trying to convince themselves of it. This goes according to the motto: `If you repeat a thing (lie) over and over again it will become the truth.´ At least Merlin and Gaius have to believe it. (P.S. It might be helpful if the TV viewers are going to share this point of view. After all, the show is called `Merlin´ and not `Morgana´.) Okay, no more Merlin-bashing. At least for today.

Let’s have a look on the other candidate. It’s time honor the Once and Future King. In his role as the king he needs to separate himself from his father and mad sister. Unfortunately, it turns out that this can be quite tricky. For instance, if someone is going to ask a nasty question about Arthur’s versions of “I did what I thought was right.” Where did he dig it up? Have a look on the first quote in the long list. Yep, it’s the mad witchy sister. BAD.

However, there are two more points that seems to be interesting.

  * Arthur is constantly running to his servant for this kind of comfort and support. Strange. What is wrong with his council, his queen, his knights, etc.? Won’t they agree with him? Do they actually have a different opinion than the great king?
  * Is it just a coincidence that Arthur is using various versions of the quote when he talks to his ghost daddy? This episode is practically a highlight for “You did what you thought was right.”-fans. Why was he not able to do this during Uther’s lifetime? Moreover, why did he not just say you were wrong and I’m right? Come on Arthur! Are you just a little boy who fears to get hid by daddy’s belt? No! You are a king, more important a man. It’s time to behave like one.



So it’s almost time to give you your well-deserved free time. There is just one important person remaining. Morgana. Yes, it’s our mad witch or freedom fighter – depending on the personal opinion. Why is she not getting this kind of support? After all she could really need it – probably more than the others. Granted, it’s hardly an enjoyable and well-paid job. Witchy has a rather unpredictable character – thanks to the producers and authors. You don’t want to be the guy telling her that another plan to conquer Camelot has failed. Could be painful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time “I blame myself for what you have become.” and “Do you think I sit around doing nothing? I haven’t had a chance to sit around and do nothing since the day I arrived in Camelot, I’m too busy running around after Arthur, 'Do this, Merlin!' 'Do that, Merlin!', and when I’m not running around after Arthur, I’m doing chores for you, and when I’m not doing that I’m fulfilling my 'destiny' do you know how many times I’ve saved Arthur’s life? I’ve lost count. Do I get any thanks? No. I have fought griffins, witches, uh, bandits. I have been punched, poisoned, pelted with fruit, and all the while I have to hide who I really am because if anyone finds out, Uther will have me executed. Sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions I don't know which way to turn!” – Merlin to Gaius.


	8. Chapter 8

**“I blame myself for what you have become.” – Merlin to Morgana at the end**

That is the ultimate sentence at the end of the show, a review, a summary – the final point. But it’s still the question about the why. Why is this sentence so important? Well, the obvious and quite superficial answer would be that Merlin admits his failing. Moreover, I say that this is not just limited to Morgana but to the entire thing of prophecy. In this way it’s no surprise that Arthur dies just a few minutes later.

However, let’s come back to the blaming part. Merlin says more or less that he – he alone – is responsible for Morgana. What shall we think about this? My answer to Merlin would very simple – SUPER EGO!!! Yep, Ego. It’s me the grandmaster of Merlin-bashing, who did officially announce that Merlin is not to blame for Morgana’s evolution. Calm down! This is no surprise and I can assure you that this fic is not becoming some kind of boring blah blah talk show. I would never write this since I do just enjoy rubbing salt into all these open wounds of the characters.

Come on. It’s time to have a talk about Merlin’s ego. We will discuss his blaming by an absolutely neutral and irrevocable check. We remove him. You heard me right we are going to remove Merlin from his own show. Okay yes we would need to find another title, but this is neglectable. What-if Merlin did never exist? Here is a short list of things that would have happened without the servant with a part-time job as messiah:

  * Uther would continue his war against magic until someone gets really pissed off and passes the completely incapable guards of Camelot and kills the king - once again
  * Arthur is motivated by the death of his father and his believing in the anti-magic brain washing becomes even stronger – once again
  * Gaius supports this war against all this evil renegade sorcerers very eager and loyal – once again
  * Gwen and Arthur become closer after Uther’s death. They marry and Gwen becomes Queen Guinevere of Camelot – once again, just maybe a little earlier
  * Morgana finds out about her magic. She realizes that Gaius was constantly lying and drugging her, Uther, Arthur and the knights are constantly on a prey upon magic, Gwen has eyes for anything but Arthur. So she get desperate and angry and runs to the only person she trusts Morgause – once again
  * Morgana’s plans to free magic are constantly failing, since they are driven by her heart alone and not by her brain. So it goes down in this chaos – a vicious circle once again
  * At some point there will be a final battle between the good guys (Camelot) and the bad guys (magic), where Arthur is going to bite the dust, because he is the hero and this is what heroes do. Okay it might be related to the fact that he has hardly more than bravery and … okay a lot of bravery – once again
  * Morgana has become completely obsessed by this revenge / freeing magic / madness thing and dies – once again
  * Gwen becomes mourning queen and Gaius is at her side holding the reins while another generations of Pendragons sits on the throne



What’s your opinion, did I forgot something? Nope. Nothing important. Well, a picky nitpicker would remind us of a few unimportant negligibilities, who have absolutely no impact on the story. Here are some examples:

  * The nice dragon would not be free and would not be able to turn Camelot into his private camp fire
  * A few sorcerers, like Morgause, might have tried to convince Arthur of freeing magic without Merlin’s `protecting´ influence -> Hello Gaius! Wake up. It’s time to stop all these evil sorcerers.
  * Aithusa would not been hatched and would not be able to heal the mad Morgana. Sorry guys, Arthur would have been dead long before the end of season 4.



Err… sorry guys. Shall I really continue with this? It’s not getting any better. I find it really hard to tell you one thing that was actually better at the end only thanks to Merlin. Whatever! It isn’t worse, too. At least half of the characters are dead at the end and the status quo is still the same: Camelot – good, magic – bad. I might have ruined Merlin’s day, but I promise it was not my intention (devilish Morgana smirk!). Nevertheless, I can’t deny the facts – Merlin is completely useless. All this power, all this prophecy stuff – just a waste of time. People will be dead with or without Merlin.

Hmm, I feel a little uncomfortable about this final statement. Shall we really leave Merlin this way? He might actually hurt himself. Yes, I know he is immortal, but I fear to see a specific drunken hobo at my supermarket. You know I mean this guy with the long with beard and constant babbling about Camelot and King Arthur. Therefore, we have to say something positive about Merlin. Err… yep, not so easy. However, he is my try. Well, one thing is that I have some respect for Merlin’s statement “I blame myself …”. This is far more than Arthur’s probable statement “… I’m not my father…” or “You cannot blame me for my father’s sins.”

I know, another one would say that this insight comes far too late. After all, it’s hardly plausible that Merlin realized this just while watching his friend dying.

But seriously, Merlin tends to say that Morgana made her own choice or at least this is what he likes to hear from his friends and surrogate father. Attention, here comes another surprise. Merlin is right. Yes, Morgana made her own choice. Point. But there is still a tiny problem. The point at the end of the sentence is wrong. The rest of the sentence is not finished yet. There is a rest, which is normally neglected: “… she made the only remaining choice.” It might sound hard and unfair (especially for hardcore Camelot fans), but there were only three choices.

**First choice:** Run away! -> the typical reaction of every magic user in Camelot. Well, she did it and we all know the bloody outcome.

**Second choice:** Merlin / Gaius way of life -> pretending that everything is fine and perfect, constant applauding when the entire Camelot is hunting magic. She tried it for some time, but we all could see that she was never really able to do so

**Last choice:** Fight!

In summary, it’s quite obvious that Merlin did nothing wrong. There is no reason for blaming himself. After all, he was hardly the only person Morgana could trust with her magic secret. He did not literally push her down the stairs … Ups! I guess we should stop here. This was just a stupid example.

Nevertheless, Merlin’s quote is obviously referring to his acting of betraying and poisoning friends. But we will be fair and assume to see it as another prove of Merlin’s unlimited and unquestionable loyalty and submissiveness to Arthur. Gaius will be very proud of him. The mentor has taught his student a lot about the relationship between king and servant from his own experiences with Uther. Hey, this is good. We can put the blame on somebody. It’s all Gaius’s fault … sorry Uther.

**“Do you think I sit around doing nothing? I haven’t had a chance to sit around and do nothing since the day I arrived in Camelot, I’m too busy running around after Arthur, 'Do this, Merlin!' 'Do that, Merlin!', and when I’m not running around after Arthur, I’m doing chores for you, and when I’m not doing that I’m fulfilling my 'destiny' do you know how many times I’ve saved Arthur’s life? I’ve lost count. Do I get any thanks? No. I have fought griffins, witches, uh, bandits. I have been punched, poisoned, pelted with fruit, and all the while I have to hide who I really am because if anyone finds out, Uther will have me executed. Sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions I don’t know which way to turn!” – Merlin to Gaius**

Well, this is a tantrum. Have we ever heard something like this from Merlin? Very rarely. It’s almost like he needed to talk about, which he couldn’t talk about in front of the others. I guess this is actually the case. After all he does indeed have a hard job. Therefore I don’t blame him for shouting, grumbling. It was probably high time for a BIG BANG. So everything is fine now, isn’t it? Nope. Nothing is fine, because Merlin is even failing when it comes to letting it all hang out. What he needs to do is taking some friends, going to a tavern and drinking, drinking, drinking … We all know that there are several drinking companions in Camelot who would be happy to help him with this.

Okay, let’s assume that Merlin would have found the guts to do this. What if he would have let himself go? Well, at first he would wake up with a big hangover – maybe even in his own vomit. Oh I do already enjoy this great image. The second thing would be Arthur teasing him all the time, but still annoy Merlin with all these servant duties. This is absolutely unavoidable, because it would be far too much to expect that the Once and Future King could actually dress himself or walk a few meters to the kitchen to get something to eat.

However, we are not here to talk about these obvious irrelevancies. We want to discuss ways to take some of the pressure off Merlin’s shoulders. It is very important to do this right now because I fear for Merlin’s health. No, I’m not referring to an enhanced risk of heart attacks or some psychic damages ala burn out syndrome. At least the latter one is obviously too late.

There is a far more serious risk. What if something like this tantrum repeats once again in public? Can you imagine what would happen if Merlin is grumbling about witches, destiny, magic, idiotic kings? It would drastically reduce his lifetime down to approximately one day. No, I’m not a physician. I know this, because it’s the typical time to prepare executions in Camelot. So you see it’s really necessary to discuss this topic right now.

What can we do to avoid such tantrums in the future? Well, in nowadays I would suggest an extended holiday. Bad luck. Once again I have to lessen my reviews, just because of these annoying Dark Ages part. Regular working hours were hardly a strength of this time, especially when it comes to the servant-king relationship. So we have to exclude this approach and look for another way.

Merlin must concentrate on the really important things. The list of Merlin’s duties and destinies is so long there must be something which is completely ridiculous. I might be now expert in mythic and magic stuff, but it might help if Merlin is not constantly attacked by griffins, witches, bandits etc., who want to punch, poison him.

Wait! I did just realize that most of these `evil´ guys are hardly interested in Merlin himself. This idiot is just running into such kind of trouble. Come on Merlin! You cannot do this willingly, just to complain about it latterly. Yes, I do know that you have this destiny thing, but it was never said that you are forbidden to actually do something about it. I mean different things than being the punching ball for everyone, who is not happy about Camelot’s and Arthur’s way to handle magic. Btw. You will hardly get a “thank you” by standing in everyone’s way all the time. People will just get more and more annoyed of you.

Okay guys, this was enough joking. We have to help Merlin. After all this tantrum on the top is a desperate cry for help. What can we do about him?

I know it. Yes, I actually got it. Attention and drumrolls please! The solution is rather simple: Forget about this court physician part. After all this stuff was nothing more than a translucent identity and even the most blind viewer has seen that Merlin was a total loser when it comes to medicine. To be fair, he was very busy with saving the world.

However, even the mad witchy had to explain him trivial things like cleaning wounds. This is a damn good statement when even a Morgana in filthy rags surpasses a Merlin, who has been taught to heal for years by the court physician. Granted, another person might say that this is no statement about Merlin’s inability but rather a statement about Gaius’s (teaching) abilities. In summary, Merlin’s ability in medicine can be described quite well by `meddling´ and not by `healing and nursing´.

Okay guys, I demand applause... Not yet?

No problem. You do not know the best part of my `not give a damn about the physician stuff´. The best part is that Merlin might find time to actually use his brain, instead of constantly hearing Gaius’s lections in how to serve a king. That’s sounds good, doesn’t it? Btw. we should also emphasize the fact that Merlin used Gaius to let off his steam.

So we have done something for Merlin’s salvation. But up to now we did not discuss the last time of the quote: “I have to hide who I really am … I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions I don’t know which way to turn!” Sorry guy, I can’t help you with this. You have so many destinies and duties that you have to decide by yourself which direction is the right one. You must decide what is behind these duties.

  * Runaround for Gaius -> he is mainly interested in the fact that you might take his position at some point of time; Gaius-Uther copy-and-paste
  * Doing this and that for Arthur -> this one is mainly too lazy to stand up for himself; royal prat
  * Destiny as Emrys for Kilgharrah -> this `friendly´ lizard wanted his freedom from this cave and a little revenge as bonus; btw. You are a dragonlord. Why are you still following his orders/suggestions?
  * Etc. etc.



No Merlin! That is not going to work. If you are really interested in finding the right direction you need to trust a friend. I mean a real friend and not this half-hearted Arthur/prat-Merlin/idiot jabbering. I know this is a tricky thing for you – after all this brain washing. Therefore, I will be nice and give you a short lesson in being friends. … Oh forget it! It’s too ridiculous this guy isn’t listening anyway.

There were a few people, who were not so eager to tell you what to do and to force in you into several directions. Quite the contrary these people gave you a real choice. One of them was very nice to you in your first years in Camelot. Yes, I know you don’t want to talk about it since your friendship was broken very drastically. Nevertheless, you could think about people, who might participate in the previously suggested drinking orgy. Any ideas?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time “The Old Religion does not care who lives and who dies! Only that the balance of the world is restored. To save a life, a life must be taken. Gaius knew this.” – Nimueh to Merlin from Tabatha; “Because Arthur is right. The love that binds us is more important than the power we wield. Morgana had forgotten that.” – Mordred to Merlin from Assassin of Syria


	9. Chapter 9

**“The Old Religion does not care who lives and who dies! Only that the balance of the world is restored. To save a life, a life must be taken. Gaius knew this.” – Nimueh to Merlin**

Really nice quote suggested by Tahbatha, especially since it gives a lot space for speculations.

The best part of this quote is the inherent contradiction between the basic `a life for a life´-concept from the beginning of the show, which has been suspended latterly. Later in the series we have the dragon breath to save both Morgana and Merlin several times from death; Leon being saved by the cup of Life – and all this without any need of give a life in exchange.

Tabatha asked us a very good question: “It is me or this is pretty much contradictory?” Nope, definitely no. I’m totally with you Tahbatha and I’m pretty sure we are not alone with this opinion.

But this leaves us with the challenge to find an explanation for this obvious problem of the show. Well, my first guess would be that the producers and authors messed it up – once again. It wouldn’t be the first time, would it? Has anyone any problems with this? No. Good. So we are done here. Next quote, please.

Don’t worry we are not done yet. After all it would be far too simple to finish every quote with a comment on the producers – correct, but boring. Therefore, let’s assume that there is some real background story behind this contradiction and we have to find it. It’s something like `The X-Files in a land of myths and magic´.

Well, hardcore Arthur-fans would say that the entire `a life for a life´-thing is just a lie from Nimueh, because she was an evil witch, she was jealous on Ygraine, whatever. No! This is very much like the author / producer idea. Too simple, too boring and … come on guys. If you really prefer such answers then you are definitely wrong in this fic.

We need another approach. Is there any logic explanation why a life is needed to be sacrificed in the on moment, but not in the next one? I mean latter episodes indicate that it’s rather simple to solve this nasty problem of life and death. All you need is a simple snap, a little hocus-pocus and everything is fine, isn’t it?

Actually, there is a logic explanation for this. It might be just an apparent contradiction. Every lifesaving action sacrifices a life, but we don’t see it. Would anybody in Camelot care if a farmer, a druid or someone else is dying as long as it is not someone of the Pendragon household?

But I have a better and more important funny idea to explain it. Believe me you will love it, even if you are a hardcore fan. Destiny is a bitch and drama queen. That sounds very good and I’m pretty sure almost all of you will agree with me. I mean it is really serious. For more than 10 years we have seen them suffering, celebrating and having a real go at each other. Moreover, all this happened just to see a stupid boat with a fair-haired man sailing on some obscure lake. That must be a joke, a parody. It feels like paying an insurance for your entire life, but the actual accident is not covered by the policy. Thank you so much.

Yes guys, I hate to admit this but it was predictable. Just think about the ghost Kilgharrah of the last scenes. This stupid lizard has known it all the time.

Come on! It would have been far easier to let Arthur and Uther die in the first episode. That would give us five complete seasons to think about all these nasty things, like peace and freeing magic.

Phew, calm down! Writing these lines has reminded me of my love-hate relationship with the word destiny. There is a 99% probability that it is just an excuse for self-made rubbish or an idiot, who is too lazy to get his head out of his ass. It’s up to you to decide which is true for our heroes and villains.

Okay, let’s focus on finding a plausible explanation for this strange destiny thing.

The episode with Nimueh and the Cup of Life was really special. Gaius told us that Merlin managed the power over death and life. I didn’t pay much attention on it while watching this episode. But things are different now. I fear something bad.

Do we really want to see this? It would be a Merlin with the power of a true god, who is gambling on life and death. I know that he pretends to be it in Emrys-mode. Nevertheless, am I the only one who gets really bad feeling at this idea?

Keep cool. It’s not that bad, otherwise … Good question. What would have been if Merlin did actually have this kind of power?

I mean we are talking about Merlin:

  * the same Merlin, who is easily manipulated by a big snake and an old shaman playing the nice doctor. Both have obvious tendencies for personal and secret agendas.
  * the same Merlin, whose knowledge about magic and the Old religion is – how can I say this in a positive way – rather limited to non-existent
  * the same Merlin, whose main purpose is to serve a guy unable to dress or eat by himself
  * etc. etc.



Would you really want to live in a world where this Merlin has such amount of power? Oh, btw. I forgot to tell you that this world is called Albion, which is supposed to be another word for perfection.

It’s high time to shake off such worries. There are more important things to do. We are not yet finished with the main topic. Destiny is a drama queen and bitch. This might be a little hard, but nobody can deny that the same destiny is also a good director. I guess the truth is a mix of both, but one thing is absolutely sure for me: destiny is a nag.

Nevertheless, there must be something more. Let’s remind us of the end of the show. There are only losers and a lot of dead people. That is very similar to a situation that we all know very well – driving test. No, I’m not crazy. Trust me you will enjoy it.

The difference between the destiny in Merlin and a driving test is surprisingly weak. In the 21. century, it’s about finding a way into a parking space and in Camelot it’s about using your abilities – magic or not. After all it’s pretty much the same, even when it comes to failing these tests. Some of you will surely agree with me when I say failing a driving test can be like a death sentence for a teenager. Sorry for this little side wipe. Besides this, I wouldn’t drive one meter if everyone else on the street would know as much about traffic regulations as Merlin’s characters know about magic? Man! That would be a damn lot of dead people.

However, there are hardly any characters in Camelot who passed the test of destiny.

It’s not my intention to add more fuel to the fire. But there is still one remaining topic. We all agree that the situation at the end of the show is far from satisfying, but it’s even worse. Did you ever ask what happened to the stupid cup that caused all this trouble? You know this thing that was used to play Russian roulette with life and death.

In principle, there are two possibilities. Either it gets dusty in the vaults of Camelot or it’s just lost somewhere in the woods. Do you feel better knowing this?

I guess I start to believe why the Old Religion does not care, who lives and who dies. There are so many idiots fighting each other in the one moment and loving each other just 5 minutes later.

**“Because Arthur is right. The love that binds us is more important than the power we wield. Morgana had forgotten that.” – Mordred to Merlin**

This quote was suggested by a follower and I dare to say that he was asking himself the same question as I did and Merlin did in this moment of S05 E02. Here is what Merlin said directly before our quote: **“You saved Arthur’s life. Why?”**

It’s a really good question, especially if we remember another well-known quote from Mordred “I shall never forgive this Emrys, and I shall never forget.”

But before we come to this there is another part of the quote, which is also very challenging. You have to look at the first part. “Because Arthur is right.” Err… sorry?! When has anyone said something like this? Just to be clear Arthur isn’t there in this moment. So the newly made knight did not just schmooze the king. What the hell was Mordred thinking? Arthur has been many things: an idiot, dear brother, a prat, a king, maybe even brave… but he has never ever been right.

Granted, most of these descriptions are either from Morgana or Merlin, but this plausible since these two are able to see Arthur in his full extends from the bad to the good sides. Or maybe not? Is it a coincidence that Morgana’s view on Arthur varies between better than his father and like his father – quite limited? Moreover, Merlin’s point of view doesn’t change at all during the entire show of 10 years. It is always “he will be …” “he is not ready yet”.

However, even the knights or Gwen would use words like wisdom, understanding or knowledge to describe Arthur.

Okay, let’s stop this – at least for now. Otherwise we might forget about the second part of the quote. “… The love that binds us…”. Am I the only one who finds it hard to see this love part, which is supposed to bind anyone, in particular in season 5?

I don’t know which love Mordred is talking about. He must be a far better person than I am, because I know many words that can be used to describe the binding of Camelot with the magic community but love … nope. Love is not among these words.

So what love is Mordred actually talking about? Moreover, why is he saying this to Merlin of all people? He should know that Merlin’s love life is … err … not existing is probably most fitting. Merlin can tell you a thing or two about love and Camelot. After all he had various love interests. They did either get killed (Freya), married another one (Gwen) or became a mad witchy (Do I have to write the name here?). Is it more fitting to write less love or loveless? Even Morgana, the epitome of hate, has a relationship with Aithusa. What’s wrong with Merlin?

Btw. did you realize that all these would-be girlfriends of Merlin are bonded by one common `obstacle´? Yep, the king. So we can actually say that Merlin’s binding by destiny to Arthur stops him from being binding by love. Strange.

I didn’t see this coming. Merlin is supposed to be a story of `myths and magic´. It’s a fairy tale, isn’t it? Oh come on you author and producer guys! All the time, I’m lamenting about Merlin is unrealistic in many points, but when I want to see the one and only fairy tale moment you are going to disappoint me once again?! What’s wrong with you? Even the smallest child can tell you that love is the strongest power and love has to win, especially in fairy tales.

But to be fair, have you seen any Merlin-scene in season 5 that deserves to be titled by `love´? Hardly. It’s an Emrys season. But maybe this was the true intention of the producers and authors, while writing this season. You could say many things about season 5 – mainly negative ones – but you would never associate it to love. So the final outcome was quite logic, accordingly to the natural laws of fairy tales (strange combination).

Hmm, do you know what, I’m a little disappointed by this as a final statement? That is actually quite surprising, since I belong to this kind of people thinking Titanic was one of the worst movies of all times. Nevertheless, our interpretation of the quote indicates that their powers are more important that the (not existing) love. What is wrong with this statement? The power part “… the power we wield.” Err … could please somehow explain this to me. Which power are they referring to?

  * Is it the king with a huge army of blindly loyal and fearless soliders? -> He is hated by a good amount of `his´ people and not able to protect his kingdom from some wild barbarians and evil sorcerers. Pretty dead at the end.
  * Is it the powerful druid-sorcerer and ex-knight? A broken-hearted and angry man, who has nothing to lose. Dead as the rest.
  * Is it the almighty Emrys, with the great and promising destiny and prophecy to his favor? -> I am so lonely lonely. I am so lonely lonely lonely in my life.
  * Is it the high priestess with the powers of heaven in her hands? -> A proud and strong woman, who fought for freedom at the beginning but ended in filthy rags losing everything, even her mind. Dead as everyone else.



Do you see my problem with finding this power? I might be no king or powerful sorcerer, but at least I decide what to do with my life, which is something that these guys cannot claim for themselves.

However, it’s high time for the question from the beginning. Why did Mordred save both a king, who is unable to separate himself from his magic-hating father and a sorcerer, who is not even able to avow his own name in public?

Well, we did already establish (also in previous fics) that Mordred is that kind of men that most people like to call a flip-flopper. So it’s not really a wonder that his “I shall never forgive this Emrys, and I shall never forget.” is long forgiven and forgotten. A former German politician had a similar problem, but he was quite good in talking and so he is remembered as a good speaker and not as a liar. I will try to translate his sentence: “What do I care / who cares about the gossip I said yesterday.”

So Mordred is not the only one, with this tiny weakness. Actually, if I think about it I must admit that he is in good company. Do you know anyone in Camelot, who has not done a U-turn in his / her opinion at least once?

But what is the motivation behind these `adjustments´? The red cloak of a knight is hardly fashionable and attracting for the ladies. Most people run away from this thing, in particular if you are interested in druid girls like Kara. Come on Mordred! I really try to understand it. If Morgana has actually forgotten something then you need to remind me of it. Why should someone with magic be eager to join Camelot? I know I could ask Merlin, but I’m quite bored of these prophecy and destiny answers.

Is there anybody who can help me (and Morgana) with finding an answer? We are also looking for this love thing. PLEASE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: “None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin, and none of us can escape it.” – Kilgharrah to Merlin. This quote was suggested by a follower.


	10. Chapter 10

**“None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin, and none of us can escape it.”**

Okay guys, what do you think about this quote? Did you realize that there is something missing? Yep, the name of the speaker. Now it’s your turn to find out who would tell us so much … wisdom. Gaius or Kilgharrah – any ideas?

Well, I may help you that the quote is from the very first episode, where Merlin learns about his DESTINY.

Destiny – somehow the word of the entire show. But what is the actual meaning behind it?

Yep, Kili – yeah it’s our all-loved dragon wisdom – what was your intention by putting so much pressure on our young warlock?

Short stop. You did surely realize that this quote is a little different to the others. Thanks to Elle Light. She (at least … I think so) gave us a cool challenge. As I did already mention, it’s about intentions. So make yourself ready for an excursion into the brain of 1000 year old dragon.

“None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin, and none of us can escape it.” Yes Merlin, you can’t run away from your destiny. It’s always going to follow you – no matter, where no matter when. But why? What makes you so attractive Merlin? I know you have special attractions that made women fall for you. Is destiny a female name?

However, isn’t it curious that destiny is so fixed – or set I say set in stone? So what shall we do now? Relax! Yeah, relax and enjoy. You can’t choose it anyway. Breakfast in bed and some golf – what is the middle age version of golf.

But Kili can’t allow this, can he? A relaxed Merlin might be able to think for himself. He might be a danger to the unavoidable outcome of destiny. Wait Merlin can be a danger to destiny. Strange. The promised messiah might stop his own saving just by doing something.

Nope. We can’t allow this.

Give him something to do. No matter what. It doesn’t change anything anyway. But what? What should he do? Ah, I have an idea. Make him support the war against magic. Do you think I’m gone mad? No, it’s not my thinking. Remember, we are following Kilgharrah’s mind. So why would our golden dragon friend support Uther? Well, it’s hardly Uther he supports, but mainly a search for allies. Appearance Gaius. Influencing from surrogate father and person to be respected – all in one is surely more efficient for a guideless and fatherless Merlin.

Gaius is quite perfect for this. He was in this from the absolute beginning. So he had nothing to lose. In this way, the highest advisor and only friend of Uther is even more suggestible than Merlin. Being on Merlin’s side makes you a hero too, doesn’t it? Btw. you couldn’t have stopped it when everything is destiny.

Nevertheless, an unchangeable destiny is quite boring. You could have done this in two episodes. The first one would be meant to introduce the Uther tyranny and the second to celebrate Arthur’s Albion – as I said `relax and breakfast in bed´.

Merlin is meant to be the hero in a world-shaking change from tyranny to a perfect dream world. You can’t realize this by sleeping. In other words we need a big bad evil. Appearance Morgana, Mordred, Morgause, …, Nimueh – okay several evils are even better. It makes it more dramatic and heroic to celebrate Merlin & Arthur.

Nevertheless, Kili suggested Merlin to let the druid boy die because he was destined to kill Arthur. If Mordred’s destiny were to kill Arthur and future couldn’t be changed, that would mean Merlin couldn’t do anything to prevent it, right? Yet, the dragon made it clear that he could (“you have the power to prevent a greater evil”).

The same happened with Morgana (“It would be better if The Witch never knew the true extent of her power”). But, if she were destined to find it, she would find it any way, wouldn't she? Yet the dragon keeps suggesting Merlin to kill them because they will prevent his to completing his destiny. Very very strange.

In summary, every `advise´ of our dragon friend is to fight or to support a destiny which would have happened anyway. Occupational therapy.

LOL! At the moment I’m not even sure, who is the bigger idiot the one who wrote this stupid prophecy or the ones who are going to follow it. It would be so funny without all these side effects. I mean there was no prophecy about Gwaine and Lancelot dying in a fight for a prophecy they even didn’t know about. Who said that Aglain an all the other druids had to be slaughtered. Nobody. According to this prophecy it was only one person dying – Arthur. Even Morgana was never said to die. She would experience her doom (or was it destiny) by Merlin – destinies are so complicated.

So, let’s try to follow a few hypotheses.

**Possibility 1:** Kili is lying and he is using those words to manipulate Merlin. (I’m not going to ask why Merlin never noticed this nonsense.) The question is which of them are wrong.

Kili, Kili … why would you try to manipulate our favorite warlock? To get free of this stupid cave? Very probably. But you were free for more than three episodes and the fire in Camelot was really nice. I know it might sound a little crazy to speculate about dragon’s brains.

1000 years are a long time. Even almighty overgrown lizards could become a little … lonely or senile. Do dragons get Alzheimer disease? Hmm, who knows?

But I guess we should try it with a more simple explanation. Dragons are not so different from business people of the 21. century. Why? Now, do you remember the several times when Kili saved our Merlin? Yes of course, but did you ever ask why? We did already establish that Merlin is completely useless for the destiny and Merlin being dragonlord was rather according to the motto: `Oh please, all-knowing dragon tell me what I shall command you to do.´ At the end, it’s Kili who is to holding the reins. Puppet Merlin is behaving well, isn’t he?

Okay, I know it sounds so, but this is not meant to hammer on Merlin’s ego. No, what I want to say is that Kili has rather ordinary motivations to heal and save Merlin every 5 minutes. What do you do when your pet is sick? Veterinarian! Unfortunately, Kili can’t take his dog on a leash to go for such doc so he has to heal him by himself. Hmm, Merlin on Kilgharrah’s leash? Maybe not physically, but still …

**Possibility 2:** The future is written by a superior force. Let’s call it the Triple Goddess and the dragon is just another puppet in her hands. So everything he said and did is to complete her wish.

Merlin is the puppet of a puppet? Cool. I mean it’s quite plausible. After all we were still searching for someone to write the prophecy and Kili would feel the same as Merlin does while commanding the dragon. No puppet is aware about its own strings.

But why would the Triple Goddess do something like this? Is she bored of being almighty and all-knowing? (Dammit! I hate to write these words every 5 minutes.) However, a dragon’s life is very long. Can you imagine living a goddess’s life? I can hardly blame her for being a little pissed off by all these unimportant tiny people and creatures.

Let me entertain you. … WAIT! Did I just indicate a correlation between the Triple Goddess and the producers of the show? Urgh!

However, I guess we all agree that unavoidable prophecies are quite ... shit. Unless, you can actually control it, which is forbidden since it is already fixed.

Btw. I should think about playing in the lottery. My horoscope told me it would be my destiny to win this time. I think I’m going to follow this advice, especially since it’s not even necessary to buy a ticket. It’s all destiny, isn’t it?

**“You’re strange. I don’t mean that in a nasty way, you’re just funny.” — Gwen to Merlin**

Merlin is strange? What an insight?! Hallelujah Gweni. Welcome to the few persons in the show with a real brain in the head.

No seriously, of course she isn’t suspecting Merlin in anyway. Why should she? It’s not like he is doing and saying things, which are abnormal for a mere servant boy and hillbilly from a farm far from everything. Or maybe? Nope. Merlin is just strange – a funny strange. Err … yep I can definitely agree with that. But I fear Gwen isn’t fully aware how funny Merlin actually is. But that is totally fine with me, since it makes Gwen funny too.

Granted, nobody did ever know the full extent of Merlin’s powers …. sorry strangeness. - Where have I heard something like that before? However, since Gwen didn’t see anything suspicious in Merlin … let’s say teasing royals and crown princes; lurking around and ignoring Camelot’s guards; oh and yes this thing with ma… Well, you know what I mean.

I know, I know. Gwen isn’t the only one. So, why emphasizing the obvious things? Hmm, I do not blame her. Quite the contrary, you might even say it’s an excuse. Yes an excuse. Unfortunately the excuse is not for Gwen, but rather for Arthur, Morgana, the knights, … hell even for Uther. All these guys are blind – not physically, but mentally. Servants are just servants, nothing more than ants running around on your commands. This is some kind of tunnel vision.

So Gwen, what’s your excuse? Merlin and you are the same level (of knowledge). You two know all these (secret) servant ways, every dirty secret of your masters and mistresses.

Btw. why do servants always know these things? I mean what’s wrong with these couples: Uther-Gaius, Arthur-Merlin, Morgana-Gwen. It should be simple a master orders, a servant obeys, shouldn’t it? But all these servants ended up holding the reins of some royal clot plot puppets.

Okay. I know we might have forgotten the quote above by discussing Gwen’s servant skills. But this is going to change. So straight forward, why is Merlin strange, but not nasty strange? I remember a lot of incidents when he was very nasty. All these I’m going to fulfill my destiny of freeing magic and making peace moments are worth to ram my … better Merlin’s head against a wall.

But I do understand Gweni. This is just not on her list. Btw. what’s on her list actually? Hmm, list. I have a feeling that this list is rather short. Psst! I have a spy in Camelot, who stole the queen’s diary for me. So I can actually present the list:

1\. ARTHUR.

That’s it. Disappointed? Some of us might have expected to see things like her father, thumping Uther, etc.

But it makes sense … somehow. No wonder that she and Merlin have become friends so quickly. The queen has found someone to share interests and similarities. Ups! Did I accidentally imply the queen having an affair? BAD.

No of course not. Merlin would never do something like this. And Gwen? Nope. She always wanted to be his queen. What could you gain by flirting with a servant?

Nevertheless, I can’t avoid the feeling that there are somethings, which are easier to share with Merlin than with her husband. Ugh, yuck! Of course, I’m not talking about the bed. This is a family show – at least this is what the producers say.

However, in a marriage out of love (as claimed by Arthur and Gwen) and an ideal world there should be no secrets between husband and wife. They are meant to share everything. So why was this never really happening? Am I really the only one, who felt that this prophesied union of the Once and Future King and Queen was not convincing? For me it was mainly a partnership of convenience.

Aha! I have it. This isn’t the ideal world of Albion, it’s just Camelot. So it’s all Morgana’s fault. Who would not blame the mad witch? Oh yes, I like the show, when things are so simple. It’s really worth to be a fairy tale. Btw. we did find another thing that Merlin and Gwen have in common. Dammit! I said no more flirting indication. These two are just two friends, who are both obsessed by the same man. Oho! Did we finally find some conflict potential? …

I know this is a point where you expect a nasty (hey, there is the word again) comment from me. But I won’t do you the favor. I find it far more enjoying to imagine all possibilities of nasty comments about Merlin vs. Gwen duels, which are running in your brains right now. Slap on the back. Oh yeah, I’m so nasty.

Okay, since we have established that it’s not just funny to laugh about the characters but also about the own readers (devilish Morgana smirk). We can come back to the last part of the quote. Why the hell is Merlin funny? Yes, I know his attempts to fulfill his destiny can be really funny. But we have to be fair by mentioning that there is a very narrow boundary between funny and ridiculous.

Which wife could enjoy seeing her king and husband being teased and shown as a clot plot and prat by a servant?

I know Merlin is meant to be the hero of the show, but this is a secret. So you could very much say that Merlin’s position as the most trusted advisor of both, king and queen, is mainly a result of her majesty’s support. Is this favoritism? Hey, don’t look like I’ve finally lost my mind. This question is completely justified. Just look what happens to Sir Elyan.

Hmm? Servant Gwen’s only wish was “…to be your queen…” has become Queen Guinevere and is always supporting the only person, who has so much in common with her. Psst! It’s not her husband.

Sorry guys! Was it Merlin’s destiny to make Arthur the Once and Future King? Or is it more correct to say that he made Gwen the Once and Future Queen – even without the nasty man by her side. You know …Arwen shipping; removing all other Pendragons. Indeed, Merlin is a hero to his queen.

Just one question remaining. Is this nasty of funny?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: “In life you always have a choice. Sometimes it’s easier to think that you don’t.” – by Gwen AND “You’ve been pretending for so long now, you’ve actually forgotten who you are.” – Gilli to Merlin.


	11. Chapter 11

**“In life you always have a choice. Sometimes it’s easier to think that you don’t.”**

This is a quote from Tahbatha, a reader. She left us following comment: According to producers, Gwen is the “moral compass” of the story. However here we see this quote completely contradicting the series development, where dubious prophecies turn to be impossible to change.

Is there anything to add? Nope. Just so true.

But we are not talking about wise or smarter characters. Not at all. Camelot’s heroes and villains are rather the complete opposite. So we have the chance to discuss and speculate what’s going on in these special brains.

First of all choices … oh yeah I like having choices. Who would not? The Merlin guys obviously. There are always these annoying consequences of having choices. You know what I mean who wants to responsible for his / her own stuff or to think for himself / herself. Life is so much simpler if someone or somewhat tells you what to do. Who or what do we have there?

Come on guys we have our well-known favorite big four. There must be some reasons to avoid these so called `choice without an alternative´.

**Arthur:** Okay this is an easy case. As crown prince of Camelot your father will grant you the best education possible. Moreover you will have a bunch of trustworthy advisors. Err… sorry I guess messed it up. All this is more or less a free ticket for these choices. After all Arthur’s school day is a rather simple thing: `mommy is dead + it’s magic’s fault = magic is evil´. This formula is pretty much the entire basic of Arthur’s education. Btw. Normally pupils learn the multiplication tables in a few years (while having other school subjects). This is just a pedestrian discovery and no statement about Arthur’s … Well you know what I mean.

Nevertheless, what the hell was he doing the rest of his time? Ah! Physical education. It’s extremely important for a coming king –wielding a sword properly.

Just to remember: typically (rather fat) kings sit on some throne with handkerchief waving court ladies by his side while fearless knights are in a tournament of jousting. That’s it. Okay, sometimes there is war but even then a king gives orders.

To be fair, Arthur is not an ordinary king. He is supposed to be the Once and Future king (says a choice avoiding prophecy). So, he does what he does best – fighting, fighting, … fighting all the time.

But what if he has to do other choices than the well-tested “Attack! For the love of Camelot!” Hmm, let’s be honest (ghost) daddy is always there. He is either a role model or someone to put the blame on. Even in very critical moments, Arthur has always his advisors.

Yep, I did mess up. Arthur is the last one to make choices.

**Morgana:** There might be a better chance, since she showed more potential - at the beginning. But this is also a problem. Women at this time are meant to bear heirs and support their husbands obediently. This is especially true for noble women, who could be used for political marriages. Ta-da Morgana! Moreover, who would want to help a magic … sorry a drugged bastard to make the `right´ choices. Definitely not the Camelot guys.

What is about the other part of her family? Morgause has also no interest in making her spy and assistant too wise. Ignorant persons are easier to `teach´. After all these `teachings´ it’s pretty much impossible to make real choices if you add strong emotions and personal losses. Even if there would be someone to talk to lunatics … To be honest, they are lunatics – really crazy lunatics. That’s all.

**Merlin:** Welcome to the grandmaster of making choices – or should I say avoiding choices. However, we want to discuss the basics of being Merlin.

On the one side we have an uneducated farm boy and servant. That doesn’t sound very promising, but it’s even worse (or better – just depending on your opinion). Fool Merlin is practically an invitation for puppet masters like Gaius and Kilgharrah. After all, who wouldn’t like hear being a great messiah? It worked so well that our puppet Merlin ran around even without being guided `in the right direction´ by his masters in season 5. Okay most of the time he ran against some wall.

At the end Merlin is a result of the conditions around him. The starting point of being farm boy Merlin isolated in a magic-hating Camelot made him vulnerable and impressionable by others. That turned him to some kind of blind sectarian, just without these idiotic white robes from the TV. At the end he became the great Emrys. It’s quite telling that the former blind sectarian became the leader, but is still obsessed of his own cult. So can we really blame him for being `always right Emrys´ – let the others `find another way´?

**Gwen:** Err… guys. Before we start this can I ask you something? Why do we even discuss her? We did already establish that being a woman capable of bearing children and being an uneducated servant are hardly the best conditions for making choices. So why would anyone think her being the “moral compass” – as correctly mentioned by Tabatha.

Hmm, I fear the ugly truth is we are running out of alternatives. Our `more promising´ three candidates are already lost.

That leaves Gwen to become the Once and Future Queen – or in other words to repair Arthur’s and Merlin’s reputation. She might have some potential as servant Gwen in the first seasons, but when you become Queen Guinevere there is no place for well-meant ideas of having choices. A queen is meant to make choices – NO IFS, NO BUTS. Now she is often saying something like: “I’ve no choice, but to sentence you to death.”

Well, we could speculate about the reasons, but do we really want to end with a quote that we discussed in chapter 3: “All I know is that no one would sacrifice more for Camelot or for you than Gwen.” Sometimes the biggest sacrifices are your beliefs.

At the end we have lost another person to this vicious cycle: more power more obsessions / less choice. Am I the only one, who thinks a servant or peasant version of Merlin would have been better? At least druid camp-Morgana would probably not have ended as mad witch. Maybe burned at the stakes, but not mad.

**“You’ve been pretending for so long now, you’ve actually forgotten who you are.” – Gilli to Merlin**

I know this quote sounds like me, but it was suggested by ProcrastinationIsMyCrime, another follower. Granted, I’m happy about it since it gives me another opportunity of Merlin-bashing.

At first we have to realize that Gilli is not simply blaming Merlin. He emphasizes two important points that have become quite characteristic for Merlin. The first point is his long pretending and the second point is his true identity.

Well, the word pretending in Merlin is normally used to describe Morgana, since everyone is saying her as the great (evil) actress of the show. But even hardcore Merlin-fans will admit that she is hardly the most successful and convincing actor. I mean her infamous smirk is almost iconic. No. There is only one person in the entire show who had many many secrets and personalities but had never been suspected. Merlin.

Hmm, is this really a statement about Merlin’s Oscar-worthy acting abilities or is it more correct to say that this fact does mainly describe the blindness of everyone else in Camelot? Who knows?

However, I guess most of us agree that Merlin is quite good in pretending. It’s almost an object lesson for a specific job, which has not been in Merlin’s CV until now. I mean he has many skills: servant, assistant physician, sorcerer, semi-god, dragon lord. But have you ever thought about Merlin being as some kind of super spy and secret agent. “May I introduce myself? My name is Bond … Merlin Bond?” Nope, you didn’t. I know it’s hard to see, because of these stupid clothes. I mean a red scarf and blue sweater are hardly as cool as a smoking. Nevertheless, the Bond / Merlin girls are quite hot, aren’t they?

Okay, enough joking. But there is something true about Merlin being a spy on everyone. Surprisingly, this is not just true for the villains of the show. I mean did anyone of Camelot’s `blue bloods´ ever realize that they have absolutely no secrets. This servant knows far more than the king, the queen, the knights, … damn the entire council and I’m not even referring to his repeated excursions past the guards.

Well, at least there is one positive thing for the blue blood. Executing servants is a standard thing – not even worth to mention. Hey, this is another similarity with Bond, who has surely seen dozens of death squads.

Okay, it was really funny to imagine Merlin Bond with Martini glass. Unfortunately, it’s hardly realistic, because he misses most of the cool things like the drinks, the smoking and all these Q-gimmicks.

Therefore, we should think about another spy. What is about Jason Bourne, a brain washed puppet, who turned out to be a good guy? Hmm, sounds slightly similar, doesn’t it? Merlin is also a brain washed farm boy supposed to be Emrys the savior of the world. Not bad.

But… I guess you do already know what’s coming next. Both Bourne and Merlin experienced some kind of side effects due to the brain washing. Well, in the 21. century I would recommend following well-known knowledge. `For information on risks and side-effects please ask your doctor or pharmacist.´ Aha! Doctor Gaius could I ask you something?

A good friend of mine has become slightly … err … strange.

  * he started talking to lizards, even more he believes to command them
  * he shows strong indications for split personalities, including the use of several names
  * he has become more and more obsessed by irrelevancies
  * he has started to tease and neck his boss all the time, although he could be fired quite quickly with really bad consequences
  * most of all – I fear he thinks he is some kind of god



Okay doc, what is your suggestion! Is there anything we can do about him? Please we must save him? It doesn’t matter what – rehab or happy pills.

Err… guys. I fear the doc isn’t going to help our friend. Does anyone know why? Weren’t there some docs in the Bourne films too? I always thought that these demigods in white are not really interested in healing, nursing, etc. – you know all this doc stuff. Is this surprising? No, not really.

However, it leaves us only one possibility. We have to fix Merlin by our own. Err … yes … I just realize a problem guys. Does anyone know Merlin? I mean the real Merlin – if this is truly his name – before all this destiny and prophecy stuff.

I know some of you would say something like “Look at the first episode.” Yeah, I did. There was a guy walking some way to Camelot. That’s hardly enough to create a whole person – unless we would want to see a very brain- and characterless Merlin.

So we could only ask Hunith about the true personality of her son. Btw. I just realized that she tends to appear very rarely for a mother, which could either be seen as a statement about Merlin’s childhood or a result of the brainwashing.

But on the other side, do we really want to see the naive farm boy Merlin from the beginning in the final battle at Camlann? This would definitely be a short fight for him. Err, no. All the effort and time just to see him fall dead or run away is not really satisfying. We would still wait for the promised peace and freeing magic part.

So what shall we do? All we have is a very incomplete image of the original Merlin, which would be gone at first sight on the one hand and a mix of several of Merlin’s split personalities as result of this constant brain washing on the other hand. We can hardly handle him like grandma’s cake recipe: `Mix all ingredients and put it into the oven.´

Hey, this might actually work. Merlin consists of so many different characters and personalities. Isolate them and you will realize they are incomplete and useless. But truly combined? A hybrid of naive Merlin + Emrys – who knows?

Okay yes, there is still some room for improvements. Nobody would fall for this twenty-year-old boy with black hair and nice big ears but a long white beard and grumpy voice. Sorry, to all Mergana fans. We will have to fix this in the updated version.

However, if we actually succeed with fixing Merlin it makes sense to think about other hybrids: fearful and desperate Morgana + mad witch, etc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time we have quotes from Tahbatha and ProcrastinationIsMyCrime once again.  
> “Sometimes the meaning is hard to see, but this time I believe it is clear. The white dragon bodes well for Albion, for you and Arthur, and for the land that you will build together.” by Kilgharrah AND “You stood and watched as our friends burned in the Great Purge. You’re nothing but a traitor” – Nimueh to Giaus.


	12. Chapter 12

**“Sometimes the meaning is hard to see, but this time I believe it is clear. The white dragon bodes well for Albion, for you and Arthur, and for the land that you will build together.” by Kilgharrah**

This quote from a folower was added by following Kilgharrah-bashing comment: “It’s meant that the Great Dragon divination’s skills are crap. I mean, if it wasn’t because of Aithusa, Morgana couldn’t forge the sword that kills Arthur via Mordred in the end.”

Hehe! I take every chance to come down on this lizard like a ton of bricks. Therefore, let’s take our time to enjoy every single detail. We will start this by reading the first sentence of the quote. Wow! Did you expect this? I’ve never heard words like `sometimes…´, `…hard to see…´ or `I believe…´ from him. What happened to the super-wise, all-knowing, etc. etc. dragon?

I know my lizard-teasing is a little predictable. But now they have become very true. After all Merlin trusts to this guy just because the other one is constantly repeating this phrase of 1000 year old dragon being all super cool. But this quote is just a useless stammering of maybes and question marks. You could obtain the same amount of `knowledge´ by talking to a real ordinary lizard in the woods. Big scary dragon seems to be very tiny now.

Hello Merlin! It’s high time to wake up. Do you actually listen to your dragon friend or is this just meant to be a break from your servant duties. I mean it can’t be a coincidence that you spend quite a lot of time while hiding in caves or the woods to shout commands in the night? Shall I tell Arthur that his servant has so much free time? I’m pretty sure he will find something to do for you.

So why do you ignore quotes like this so vehemently. It’s almost like … No, I can’t use this cliché right here, can I?

Ah who cares! We all know it’s true that men have a special talent. We can stop listening to our girlfriends when they are talking about `important things´ like shoes. In the end it’s like an ambient noise while watching soccer. Unfortunately, I have to admit we are not so good in actually listening. Oh yeah, believe me no excuse will be good enough if your girlfriend asks you if she looks fat in her new jeans and you nod just because of not listening.

Sorry, let’s come back to the topic. But the question must be asked. Does Merlin have the same talent when he is talking to his girl… sorry dragon friend? I’m just thinking of the similarities. It must have something to do with Merlin’s female acquaintances ending up quite unpleasant. I know it’s all because of destiny and all this very important stuff, but isn’t it more plausible to say Merlin might have a problem with listening, too.

I know it’s nasty to investigate someone’s privacy … hey does Merlin even have a privacy? It’s all about Arthur, isn’t it? At least this is what he says all day.

Oh come on Merlin! I’m annoyed of this careful maybe. Time for some tough and honest words. Everyone is using emergency lies from time to time. It’s really nothing to shame about. This quote on the top is an example for your type of emergency lie. We do understand it. Truly. You were so shocked when the dragon revealed that he hasn’t known anything just from the beginning. You couldn’t have known this. So it was only natural to use an emergency lie by pretending that you haven’t heard him. Moreover, we all know that emergency lies are quite long lasting. You have to repeat them over and over again and then you start amplifying stories. Nevertheless, it doesn’t matter what we do or hope. It does not change the ugly truth. A lie will be a lie and can never become the truth. It’s just in your head.

Okay, enough Merlin and Kilgharrah-bashing (only for this time). Let’s focus on the second part of the quote. After all there is a chance that this part is more true than all the other prophecies. I know many people do agree with my tiny issues related to Kilgharrah, but is there anyone having issues with Aithusa? Nope.

So everyone likes the withe dragon and even big old grumpy dragon says: “The white dragon bodes well for Albion …” But we have to be careful, because of the previous predictions. So let’s have a check if this one is more plausible. What is our hope-dragon doing? Well, she makes people smile. Do you remember her first action? Yeah, I know she saved the evil mad witch. But when was the last time that Morgana was actually smiling – I mean a real smile and not the famous smirk.

However, Aithusa is not just meant to be good for Albion, but mostly for our supposed to be dream team of Arthur and Merlin. Err… yep. What shall I say? We all know the final outcome: allying with the heroes, attacking and causing the end of the `good guys´. And Merlin? Is he actually trying to command the `The White Hope´? Okay, being focused on fulfilling a destiny is just so-so, but commanding hope and destiny … err … isn’t this crazy or even mad? Hello Morgana.

So how are we going to explain all this? The Merlin / Kilgharrah approach would be rather simple and straight forward – keyword `mad witchy blaming´. Not really creative but also quite fitting for an old-fashioned 1000 year old dragon.

Nevertheless, I’m not happy with this rather predictable approach. Are there other ideas anywhere?

Indeed, we could try to ask the promised symbol of hope herself. What is our cute white dragon saying? Not much actually. But sometimes actions are more telling than words. Her dragon instincts seem to include the witchy in the `golden´ future of Albion. Hmm? The total opposite. Obviously `The White Hope´ has a pretty surprising understanding of helping our heroes to realize Merlin’s and Arthur’s land to be build. Shall we call it Anti-Albion with a mad witchy on the throne?

So guys where do you want to live in this team building contest?

Welcome ladies and gentlemen. Let’s get ready to rumble! On the one side we have a `The old Fogeys´ with a white bearded Emrys in the frontline and Kilgharrah as support on the sidelines. And on the other side are `The new Outsiders´ with the duo Mortusia in fighting mode. Ah forget about that we will do it the right way. All-or-nothing! Merlin has always been a show of drama and fairy tale. A big clash is unavoidable. Clear the ring and fight!

The survivor will be the prophesied fair and just king or queen. What, nobody is going to survive? Oh so sad. However, I’m already finished with mourning. It’s time to enjoy life in our new kingdom.

**“You stood and watched as our friends burned in the Great Purge. You’re nothing but a traitor” – Nimueh to Giaus.**

Oh yeah, the good old times. The first season was so much easier in many ways, wasn’t it? The basic concept of the show was already established. One the one side we had Gaius the mentor, nice uncle and surrogate father (all in one person) and on the other side the evil witch Nimueh – typical fairy tale characters.

But this talk between these supposed to be mortal enemies felt somehow wrong.

I know there are some fans, who like the image of Gaius being the nice uncle, who is nothing more than a slave laborer of Uther. I mean it isn’t so hard to imagine Gaius shaking and begging for fear what “his one and only friend” (citation by Uther) might do to him.

Well, followers of my fics might know that I have a slightly different opinion about this, but that shall not be discussed here. I think it’s far more interesting to focus on the quote and the related consequences.

What do I mean with related consequences? Now, did you ever wonder about Gaius’s response to this accusation? A shrug. Just to remember, we are talking about Camelot. There is nothing worse than betrayal. You might kill people, you might torture or imprison people, you can lie, etc. That’s all rubbish, since you will always find someone to blame for. But you can never ever be a traitor. That’s practically the basic concept of the entire show – not to mention that it must be punished by death.

I know Nimueh is a villain. So, it must be a lie. Nevertheless, it felt wrong that Gaius the only person, who did seems to know everything and try to free magic (Hello lizard!) accepted this accusation so easily. Some (nasty) people might even say there is no use of complaining a fact.

Is it fact? Stop! We made an agreement not to question Gaius’s undoubtable and heroic role in the Purge.

No, we will discuss the relationship of our two mortal enemies. Enemies? Hmm, am I the only one who felt some tension there? Yes of course, Gaius must be nervous since he is going to offer his life.

Hey, why even waiting for Gaius’s offering his wife. Hell Nimueh, wake up! What’s so complicated about throwing a fireball at the traitor and closest advisor of Uther? There is no doubt that there is something more, something questionable.

Where is all this shouting and threaten that belongs to such kind of confrontation? Forget about the exact words. Try to focus on the tone. It’s normal, familiar … hell I would even say a little sad.

But it’s not just these two. Do you remember the talk between Nimueh and Uther? This was pretty much the same class reunion atmosphere.

There are three people, which are responsible for the basic of entire story around Merlin. Everyone would expect to see bloody and ruthless enemies, but instead of this they share a long and close history.

So let’s ask the key question. What happened between these three before the Purge and how does it influence the outcome of the show?

Time for a Merlin prequel – In a land of peace and magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young boy. His name... Gaius.

Granted, it’s not that there are many things to fear for our young hero. He might be the servant of crown, but his mentor is a wise (not to mention hot) high priestess and court sorceress. She is teaching him everything without any reasons for fear or mystery-mongering.

Btw. did I mention that the mentor of our young hero is quite hot? You can’t blame him when his hormones are going `haywire´. This is especially true if you consider that the king himself is asking for advisor quite frequently. Granted, the royal prat is looking for everyone wearing a skirt.

Dear producers! I did just realize that Merlin is far more realistic and historically precise than I had ever thought. Isn’t there a copyright on an English king with an obsession for getting a male heir, whose women tend to die quite early?

Okay, let’s come to the final clash. Just to remember the high priestess and court sorceress was only obeying her king’s command – or should I say the wish of Gaius to please his master and friend. Considering this makes it even more crazy to understand or explain the following consequences:

  * Uther started the Purge -> no wonder a king is a king and can’t be wrong
  * Nimueh ran away and starting to fight -> no wonder a villain must be a villain
  * Student and servant Gaius supporting his king -> Anyone wondering why he suddenly fights his former would-be (hot girl)friend and boss mentor who was rather close to the king? Ups! -> Anyone wondering why his king suddenly promotes the friend and student of the most evil enemy of Camelot so suddenly; moreover one of the few persons who know the ugly truth? Ups! -> Anyone wondering why the former student of the Old Religion has suddenly one of the most eager fighters against his former subject? Ups! -> Anyone wondering that he teaches his own student the same way? We are talking about the student, who is destined to unite the old and the new ways by killing the Old Religion? Ups!



No matter how you look at it, someone is always being – Attention the ugly word! – betrayed. Well, nobody is perfect. But do you know something? There is always something to win by betraying.

One question remaining? Yes. What the hell is the secret of Nimueh’s magic Botox? Sorry ladies. We will never know. All together: “Thank you Merlin!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time following talk:  
> Merlin: “Because it is you. You are the Key to all knowledge? There are times, I feel the weight of my destiny crushing me, but... that is nothing to what you carry.”  
> Euchdag: “It is both a blessing and... a curse. Is there anything you wish to ask me?”  
> Merlin: “No. I don’t think it would be good.”  
> Euchdag: “You are wise, Emrys. Your wisdom will live long in the minds of men.”  
> Merlin: “Wait... There is one question. If Mordred is not Arthur’s Bane, then, who is?”  
> Euchdag: “Himself.”  
> AND “I’ve long made my peace with the druids.” – Arthur on magic


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I hope you are ready for another joke. But before starting the chapter I just want to give a comment about the second quote. It’s rather personal this time, because I was really pissed off while hearing this in the show. Nevertheless, I hope you will enjoy it.

**Merlin: “Because it is you. You are the Key to all knowledge? There are times, I feel the weight of my destiny crushing me, but... that is nothing to what you carry.”**

**Euchdag: “It is both a blessing and... a curse. Is there anything you wish to ask me?”**

**Merlin: “No. I don’t think it would be good.”**

**Euchdag: “You are wise, Emrys. Your wisdom will live long in the minds of men.”**

**Merlin: “Wait... There is one question. If Mordred is not Arthur’s Bane, then, who is?”**

**Euchdag: “Himself.”**

This talk is between Merlin and the secret sharer in episode 2 of season 5 is often ignored, but we will honor this `exchange of knowledge and wisdom´ properly.

The first point might be a little fussy. How shall I call Euchdag? Is it a he or a she? I guess I will keep it as neutral. `The Thing´ makes me feel strange. Not everyone is so fully trusting to a glowing something. Moreover, The Thing shares Merlin’s preference for several names. It’s either Euchdag or Diamir or whatever.

The second point that shall be discussed is a quite surprising result how many all-knowing and all-mighty magic creatures are running around in a magic-hating Camelot. Or is it more correct to say how many creatures claiming to be all-super … blah blah? I’m just a little sceptic since our grumpy dragon friend revealed the true extend of his `knowledge´ in the previous quote. Hypocrites.

Okay, now we can actually start our speculation and discussion part. Don’t you think a little strange how easily The Thing offers his knowledge to Merlin? It feels almost like finding a jinni in such Arabian lamps. “You have three wishes free master.” “I wish three more.”

No of course not. Merlin is not so eager. He is wise and refuses the offer. Oh so nice of him!

It’s just not really convincing. Merlin’s No-yes flip flopping seems a little too much acting. The Thing showed that it is a big fan of Merlin by schmoozing him … let’s be honest it’s actually begging to share his knowledge. At the end it’s not really surprising that Merlin becomes a softy by accepting the help. Is it a help?

Is it just me or should Merlin be a bit more suspicious to a glowing something, which pretends to be the Key to all knowledge. I know it’s the Dark Ages and Merlin is not the smartest guy in the world, but even he should know one simple truth. A key is a piece of metal.

Being a little careful is nothing to shame for. After all he should be well-aware of Gaius’s lectures. Here is a tiny part of such lectures, just to remember: `There are many evil witches and renegade sorcerers and they are all obsessed by killing Arthur. This is especially true when it comes to the Old Religion.´

Okay, now we are on a same level with Merlin’s knowledge and can check Merlin’s interaction with The Thing once again. It’s a direct incarnation of the Old Religion and appears out of nowhere. This is either the biggest coincidence in the world or … Wait. We’re discussing Merlin’s world. That means there are no coincidences. It’s all prophesied.

That leaves me only one possible conclusion. Run away Merlin! Every normal person would be at least a little sceptic and become suspicious … err … Sorry. I’ve forgotten that we have no normal person in the entire show.

Phew! Time to calm down a little bit. I guess most you will agree that the entire situation and Merlin’s sudden and unlimited trust is questionable. But it won’t change anything. So we can focus on the actually shared knowledge.

“If Mordred is not Arthur’s Bane, then, who is?” – Merlin to The Thing

STOP! We must repeat this very carefully. Merlin, one of the most stubborn and obsessed persons ever, did admit that Mordred is not to blame for anything.

Well, it was quite nice to select this quote, because it didn’t mention a talk between Gaius and Merlin at the very end of the same episode.

Gaius: “So, are you going to tell me what’s troubling you?”

Merlin: “Mordred.”

Gaius: “People change. Perhaps we should give him the benefit of the doubt.”

Merlin: “Remember what the dragon said. Arthur would meet his end at the hands of a druid.”

Gaius: “You still believe that’s him.”

Merlin: “I feel that the die is cast … and that, for good or ill, Albion’s great trial has begun.”

Do you think that is a contradiction? If you say yes, then I must say disappoint you guys. You are too normal for this show.

Yep, Merlin’s wisdom will live long in the minds of men. Definitely. It’s so impressive that we admire him even now right here.

In the discussion of the first quote I’ve assumed Merlin might have a problem with listening, but this is obviously wrong now. So, how do we explain Merlin’s … err … what is it actually?

It’s not about his ears. I would rather call it selective hearing and understanding. Oh Euchdag, Key to all knowledge, please tell me what I want to hear. I’m going to ignore the rest anyway.

The episode `Arthur’s bane´ gave us an idea of Morgana’s madness after her imprisoning, but such statements of Merlin make me believe that he is still able to win this contest of madness. It’s nothing personal.

Just for completeness, what do you think about the shared wisdom of The Thing? Arthur’s bane is Arthur himself. Hmm, I would agree. Arthur made his destiny. From my point of view, there is only one question remaining. Would he have been so ... err... successful ... without Merlin’s help?

**“I’ve long made my peace with the druids.” – Arthur on magic**

Wow! Just wow!

When I heard this statement from Arthur for the first time I had to check that everything is okay with my TV.

He made peace? Sorry guys, I must have missed something once again. Has anyone seen him changing any laws against magic at any time in the show? It’s a lot of any…? I haven’t seen something like this, which is quite surprising since the show was centered on Arthur so we could follow him even in private moments.

Therefore, I dare to say following: Arthur’s peace (let’s assume it did actually happen) is completely unknown to the druids, population of Camelot, Camelot’s knights (very important point) and Camelot’s allies. It’s a secret peace. I know secret sounds crazy, but it seems to be the only explanation possible. Otherwise I would expect some indications – at least in season 5.

Here are some examples for the (missing) indications:

  * There is the episode `The death song of Uther Pendragon´, where Arthur saves the old woman, who shall be burned because of sorcery. Really great moment of him. I totally mean it. But the question should be why Camelot’s people thought it would be okay to burn someone alive, if everyone is at peace.
  * Another example is the episode, where Arthur is very eager to get this important peace negotiation with the Sarrum. Yes guys, we are talking about Sarrum. The same guy who likes to imprison torture and kill every kind of magic – even Uther could be able to learn a thing or two from him. Is it a strange competition? Peace with the druids vs. peace with the Sarrum? Just a question...



Psst, Arthur! If you want to have a peace treaty with someone you should tell everyone about it. Peace is nothing to hide or to be ashamed of. Say it loud! It is very important, because there is a risk that your partners and friends try to kill you in war. Please note that this is no sign of betrayal. Not at all. It’s just they don’t know anything about your peace.

It’s not even about a formal declaration of something like this. I know that would be too much to ask for after 20 years of war and genocide. The treaty with the Sarrum was a completely different thing, wasn’t it? The big party there was absolutely needed, because you liked this guy so much, didn’t you? Btw. It’s an interesting question about your peaces (does a plural form exist?) with the Sarrum and the druids. I guess it can be a little tricky to have peace with two different sides, which are at war with each other.

After all a meeting with each other could be quite tricky. You might get caught in the middle when your friends have a nice go at each other. Tell me! How are you going to handle this? Is there some kind of peace of first and second order?

However, you just need to say: “Hey guys, stop fighting. Put down your weapons.” This is how to start peace negotiations.

Okay, enough of Arthur’s special information politics. But there are still many questions. How is Arthur able to make peace? I might be wrong, but my understanding of peace includes two sides. Only one guy making peace feels weird. Peace treaties have to be between two sides. I mean, just try to imagine the signing of such peace treaty. Arthur would be the first one, who is signing the contract in the name of Camelot. But what happens after this? Will he give the contract to … himself? I’m not even talking about the typical act of handshaking. Could be really funny. A one-sided peace is just wrong. Point.

But I admit it’s complicated to have a peace with the druids if you are not able to talk to them. What? Oh yeah, I remember the druids have this nasty habit of hiding in the woods and running away if they see any kind of these nice red cloaks. Why the hell would they do that? It’s all love, PEACE and harmony, isn’t it?

But I want to be fair. Maybe Arthur’s quote has a different meaning. He did say it is “my peace”. My peace … Um, well, how shall we understand this?

The most simple (and a little provoking explanation) would be: He is allowed to smash your face in, but you are not. It’s his peace.

Seriously, the concept of this fic is to speculate about the intentions of our heroes and villains. What’s going round in Arthur’s head? Silence!

Possibility 1: Arthur might be far more advanced and wise than we had expected. The quote is referring to a psychologic point. He made his peace with Camelot’s war and crimes against magic. Well done. He might be the only character who admits his problems. A fault confessed is half redressed. The others could learn a lot from him – all these guys have a screw loose (more than one screw). However, we are still waiting for the next steps. It’s good for Arthur that he has forgiven himself. Unfortunately, this does not necessarily mean everyone else did the same.

Possibility 2: It’s truly `Arthur’s peace´. That means the king is looking for a sympatric partner for his peace. Any volunteers? Yes, I know someone. Merlin. The great Emrys is probably the best person for a peace treaty with the druids. After all, he is destined to represent the interest of the druids and all the other magic users. It might be an additional advantage that Merlin is used to serve Arthur: Merlin bring me my meal!; Merlin clean my stables!; Merlin help me with dressing!; Merlin make my peace with the druids!. It’s just perfect.

A very king-like attitude. This is my kingdom, these are my people and this is my peace.

Okay guys. Now it’s your turn. Is it possibility 1 or 2 or maybe a mix of both?

However, I guess I should wait with my call in Stockholm – at least for now. Many people have been honored by the noble price of peace recently. But there should be at least a tiny sign of peace. Sorry Arthur. Your peace is not mine. It’s rather like Camelot has started a war more than 20 years ago, but now I, King Arthur Pendragon, command peace. Btw. you have to kneel before me and I want to hear a cheerful “Long live the king!”

Psst Arthur! People in the 21. century would call it occupation. There is a tiny but very important difference between no war and peace.


	14. Chapter 14

**MERLIN: “What hope is there without my magic?”**

**BALINOR: “Merlin, you are more than a son of you father. You are son of the earth, the sea, the sky, magic is the fabric of this world, and you were born of that magic. You are magic itself. You cannot lose what you a** re.”

Merlin without magic?! I must admit that is a really funny image. Okay, maybe it’s a little more than that. Can you imagine an old grumpy guy with a long white beard and a red pajama, who is jabbering words in an unknown language – but nothing more? That is the stereotype of a crazy old beggar. SAD.

In one of my previous chapters, we did already establish that Merlin’s abilities as physician are quite … yeah, you know what I mean.

So the remaining rest of Merlin is a former farm boy and servant of Camelot. Sorry, there is a whole bunch of servants running around in Camelot. Somehow I’ve lost sight of … Sorry, what was the name? Merlin? Hmm, never heard of that guy. Is there anything special about him? Otherwise I cannot find a reason to remember such ridiculous name.

STOP! Did you read that? I’ve actually written it. Merlin is right. He is really useless without magic. Hallelujah! Such statement from me is really sensational.

Therefore, we must emphasize his statement to honor it properly. Merlin is lost among the people of Camelot – he is practically nothing WITHOUT MAGIC. What was the name of this BBC show about a naïve farm boy in a big city? “Lost in Camelot”

Okay, enough fun about the uselessness of Merlin – at least for now. After all, we have ghost-daddy to save and motivate him. Well, this is a little more than some ordinary motivational speech. You are the earth, the sky, magic and the world itself.

Do you want to know what I was thinking while reading this quote for the first time? OH SHIT! Not another guy to massage Merlin’s ego.

Gaius, Kilgharrah, Alator, entire druid clans, …, and now daddy. Even Arthur, king of Camelot, would be jealous about so much support – or as I like to say bootlicking.

Let me try to summarize this. Merlin is a dragonlord that means commanding most powerful fire-spitting magical creatures. He is friend, protector and advisor of the Once and Future King meaning he has a lot of influence and non-magical power – not to forget access to a lot of money. He is Emrys the almighty, all powerful and immortal sorcerer and messiah meaning to have unlimited magical power and being sect leader. Did I miss something? But now daddy is coming to add the last step on the career ladder. Merlin is earth, sky, sea and magic. There is nothing on the top. This is a formal declaration: MERLIN IS GOD.

Does anyone feel a little … err … uncomfortable about this?

But we will try to be fair and give him a chance.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the `Merlin GOD contest´!

**Challenge 1** – Hurling lightning: Granted, the angry revenge god-part is a copy-and-paste version of Zeus and so on, but he did it and nobody said that gods have to be creative.

**Challenge 2** – Founding a new religion: That might be more tricky. At first you have to create your gods rules – ala Moses. Btw. did you realize that Merlin’s outfit as Emrys in the last episode was `inspired´ by Moses in the Charlton Heston movie “The Ten Commandments”.

Another issue might be that Merlin’s `Ten Commandments´ consists of nothing more than one name – Arthur. His promised land of Albion isn’t much better.

Sorry, Merlin I fear it will be end as an obscure underground sect.

Phew! However, we can hardly blame Merlin for having tiny problems with being fully grounded? Every daddy is proud of his son for graduating, marrying, etc. Nothing spectacular. Granted, but Balinor’s claiming of his son being god himself is err … special. Isn’t there such phrase about people like this? I guess it was something like this: “Modesty is very becoming, but you get on better without it.”

Okay, I guess we can agree that daddy is … err … very proud of his son. Like father, like son. Hey, we did actually find another sense of community between Arthur and Merlin.

At the end, it’s still one question (speculation is more correct) remaining. Let’s assume daddy is right. Merlin is sky, earth, blah blah and magic himself. I know words like this sound very strange – especially from me. Nevertheless, being all this stuff might be a little complicated or even contradictory while focusing on one single person – Arthur.

Um, well, do you see any problems with being magic itself and saying things like “There can be no place for magic in Camelot.” Please note we are talking about Camelot, the home of anti-magic stupidity.

Hmm, the only logical consequence is: “Fuck off Mr. Magic!” Somehow depressing, isn’t it? What did daddy say? “You cannot loose what you are.” Might be true, but we want to be fair and honest. When was Merlin, I mean our Merlin the lovely servant-idiot from Camelot, actually himself – or as daddy says magic?

Is it just me or do all our chapters end with a question about Merlin’s true identity?

**“I have decided to use magic to heal my father.” — Arthur**

Well, well what do you think about this statement of our promised Once and Future King?

Doesn’t it sound great? I trully mean it. Magic is coming back to Camelot by the king himself. So the prophecy has finally become true. Hallelujah!?

Why are you sad? Isn’t it true? MORGANA SMIRK!

Oh yeah, I like it when the proclaimed heroes tell us everything that is needed to be said. Normally I have to exaggerate or twist things a little bit to illustrate the idiocy of the characters. But such moments are so much better. I know I’m known to be a bit nasty about the protagonists of the show, but today I can finally say it from the bottom of my heart: “Arthur is my hero – at least when he gives quotes like this.”

Okay, let’s come to the detailed discussion of Arthur’s quote – word by word. “I have decided …” is always a good start for a king’s speech. King’s speech? Sounds familiar. Is it just a coincidence that one of Arthur’s followers on the throne had a problem with making his decisions in public, too?

A king should not be ashamed of what he decides. Come on Arthur! Let everyone in Camelot know about your wisdom. Magic is back in Camelot PSST! It’s a secret. But why?

Or maybe this isn’t the most interesting question. The quote is from the episode `The wicked day´ and was said by Arthur to Agravaine. Yeah sure this guy is evil. But the interesting part here is that Arthur was previously running to Merlin to tell him – even ask – him about the use of magic. So the real question should be: Why is he not talking to his trusted knights or the love of his life? No, he is talking to his servant. Is there anybody else who sees a correlation?

At the beginning we had three royal Pendragons: Uther, Arthur, Morgana (although she didn’t know it at this time). All of them had unlimited trust to their servants: Gaius, Merlin, Gwen. And now let’s have a look at the end. Royal Pendragons? No response. Of course they are all dead. Former servants? Sorry! It has to be her majesty and high advisors and friends of the queen.

Well, Merlin is meant to be a fairy tale, a fable with a simple good-and-evil plot. Now such kind of stories do always have some lesson at the end to teach small children what is good and wrong. Now, I might be wrong, but from my point of view the lesson would be: Do not trust anyone! SAD.

However, it’s another coincidence that the consequences of using magic by the kings are quite … err… logical.

If a king decides that `the use´ of magic to produce an heir is requested and it works successfully the logic consequence must be that magic is evil. A war with genocide and the whole shebang is started. But if the king decides that `the use´ of magic is requested and it’s not successful than magic is evil anyway. Of course, the war must continue. Does anyone understand this? No? Well, you are no king.

But we do already know that Arthur is not really happy about being compared to his father (see: chapter 1). So we have to look for differences. Indeed, we find something. As far as we know, Uther wanted to use magic only one time since it worked successfully and the Great Purge was started as consequence. This exception was to heal Morgana.

But Arthur is better than his father. He used magic twice. TWICE! The first time was when he wanted to heal his father – and magic was evil. The second time was when Gwen had some issues with her personality and this magic lake-thing. Err… how shall we call this? Hmm, a lot of water and magic shall be used to change Gwen’s thinking. Brainwashing.

Nevertheless, one thing is quite clear. Arthur is definitely more eager to use magic than his father was. So we could call it a progress, couldn’t we? Hmm, the consequences for magic are still the same.

But hey, we have to be fair. This is not meant to be an Arthur-bashing. So let’s check what Arthur might say to explain this. It’s especially important since we did already establish that the logic of kings is not so obvious to normal people like us.

Okay, what is Arthur’s normal response when it comes to his relation with magic?

“You can’t blame me for my father’s sins.” Yeah, we know this. But not here. Shall we do another try?

“I was young and inexperienced. I was desperate to prove myself to my men, to my...father.” Okay, the father-story is as old as the hills. I’m just annoyed of this. But what is about the rest? “I was young and inexperienced.” Hmm, sounds strangely familiar. It sounds like talking of these B-list celebrities: “I was young and needed the money.” The only difference is that a porno doesn’t kill people...

Phew! This isn’t actually the outcome I had expected.

Nevertheless, we have to make a final conclusion. What do we think about Arthur’s decision to use magic? Did you get a feeling of the promised Albion of free magic? Nope. Me too. There is nothing more than a bad taste. At the end, Arthur is probably right. He is going to use … It doesn’t matter what as long as the king can use it – emphasizing the word `use´.

There are two questions remaining:

  1. “Do you think Uther is going to thank you for healing him with magic?” Originally, this question was directed to Merlin, but it should be also directed to Arthur. Will daddy be proud of you?
  2. “You are nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!” This is not actually a question, but it should be. It was said to Uther by Arthur himself, because of his attitude to use magic. Err… what was that about this phrase: “Don’t throw bricks when you live in a glass house.”




	15. Chapter 15

** ARTHUR: “ … no man is worth your tears.”  **

**MERLIN: “Yeah. You’re certainly not.” **

That is a statement! Open yourself to it and honor the … err … wisdom(?) of our promised Once and Future King and the other side of his coin the all-perfect Emrys.

It’s quite telling, isn’t it? But the full truth is even … err … better(?) Somehow, I have a problem with finding the correct words to describe the characters of the ultimate heroes today. However, here is the true extent (where did I get this?) of Arthur sentence: “One thing I tell all my young knights: no man is worth your tears.”

Do you want to be a legendary knight of Camelot? Do you remember all these battle calls, motivation speeches like “I swear I’m going to rescue my men ... or die trying.” or the well-known highlight “For the love of Camelot”? Of course, you do since all these this are part of every episode. Who would not like to believe it from the promised king and savior? But now

…

Sorry, guys for depressing you. This quote shows the truth without the Arthur’s personal PR. This quote shows the true motivation and teaching of Camelot’s heroic knights. This quote reveals the truth that was hidden under myths and red capes with the golden emblem of Camelot. I’m so very sorry guys. (smirk)

However, it’s time to discuss the truth that was revealed by our two heroes here. We have Arthur’s `who cares about men´-attitude on the one side and Merlin’s `who cares about Arthur´-attitude.

**Arthur:** Oh my king, why are your crying for Uther? He is just a man and nothing more. So you might say that the instructor of Merlin and all knights did break his own rules. Moreover, he did command Merlin to ignore the death of his father within a few minutes. Wait! A few minutes? How long did Arthur wail – yeah, I call it wailing – about daddy? Err … I guess we all know the answer. Do we really? I mean wasn’t it a little strange that his moaning was always like “I don’t have his wisdom or his conviction. I can only follow his example and do what he would’ve done.” Hmm, someone might say … err … how can I say this nicely?

BLAMING.

Another question should be about caring for others. Caring? Yep, you know since we shall not care about men. Somebody might ask what is worth to care about. Women? Children? Camelot? Btw. what is Camelot without all the people? A king on a throne – nothing more than a man and we don’t wail about men.

**Merlin:** That statement is really interesting. “You’re certainly not.” I know Merlin-fans will say he was a little pissed off because of his father – or was it because of Arthur’s behavior? Nevertheless, I think we should question this a little more carefully.

Merlin is pissed off … Why? Did he ever experience king prat, dollophead, … I guess this is an answer. No seriously, it was definitely not the only time that Arthur showed his daddy likeness. So the question is not if Merlin did ever doubt Arthur being the perfect king. It’s rather strange if or if not he was able to ignore all these moments.

At the end, we don’t have to decide for one side. Merlin did definitely shed tears for his idiot, although he denied it and Arthur shed tears for a man, who is hated at most. Yeah, two idiots and liars not sticking by their own words are meant to be the warranty for fulfilling a prophecy of perfection.

Sorry guys, who is the bigger liar, here? There are two idiots, who are lying to themselves all the time and we, who still hope for something to happen.

**“If I can’t use magic I may as well die.” – Merlin to Gaius **

This is a Merlin statement from the very first episode. No. It is more. It’s practically the absolute statement. So what shall we say about this?

Bye, bye Merlin! RIP. An obituary, a grave inscription. Hmm, doesn’t happen. Or did it? Did we bury Merlin, the true Merlin, already in the first season? Wouldn’t be a big surprise considering the circumstances. Somehow, the quote tells its own tale about Merlin’s destiny. If he is not allowed to use magic, he is going to die. But his destiny doesn’t change if he uses magic in Arthur’s Camelot. (Yeah! First time, I used this ugly word on purpose.)

Surprisingly, Merlin did survive the first episode, not to mention that he is the one of the few people who survived all this chaos. He is immortal – at least Emrys is. Emrys is immortal. We know this for sure, but I was never really sure about Merlin. I mean have you ever seen him in season 5? Very rarely, if ever …

So, I’m doing something crazy, nasty and completely provoking. This is going to be a reading of Merlin’s testament – assuming a farm boy in the Dark Ages could write. Therefore, helpful comments will be needed and given by the executor – me – (in brackets).

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the reading of Mr. Merlin’s last will:

I Merlin, explain in full possession of my mental powers ...

(As you see Mr. Merlin was not familiar with the general concepts of official documents and so on. You have to write your full name. Unfortunately, our law firm was not able find any birth certificate. There are some rumors about Merlin Emrys. But … However, we have to consider the possibility that such inaccuracies allow to refute this testament.)

At first, I want to thank my mother. She was the only constant in my life and gave me the confidence in myself. The other two characters, which taught me everything I know, are Gaius and Kilgharrah. They were my mentor, my surrogate fathers – just everything. There is one thing I know for sure. I wouldn’t have done what I did and I wouldn’t have been the person I was without them.

(Err… yes. We tried to convince these gentlemen to attend to this event. But they had something better to do than honoring their ward. Mr. Gaius even told us some weird stuff about ruling a kingdom.)

Hereby, I finally admit that I am more. I am more than a farm boy or a servant. I know you don’t believe it, but I am special. I am … Sorry. I can’t tell you. But trust me one day … one day … it will be all fine. You’ll see. It’s destiny.

(Yep, that’s a strange point about Mr. Merlin. People, who knew him, told our law firm that he behaved a little strange and out of character from time to time. It’s like he felt to be … well special. You might assume that there must have been a lot conflict potential, but we couldn’t find any indications. His work life as PA of a VIP required reticence more than anything. Moreover, there were even rumors about mental … We should stop here. Our firm is respected for its utmost discretion.)

However, being special makes you lonely. There were only a few people in my life that I was allowed to trust completely. I had friends, really good friends, but even to those I had to hide a huge part of me. They might never forgive me for lying to them, betraying them, but it was not my decision to do so … I know they will not understand it, but sometimes there are more important things than friendship. But you must believe me the price is high and I could not risk to bother others with it. It was mine. It was my destiny.

(Once again, you can see that Mr. Merlin was really troubled by somethings. But I must emphasize that our firm didn’t find an explanation, although we tried everything. Btw. I must say the same about the friends, Mr. Merlin was referring to. As you can see the interest on his testament is … how to say it nicely … Limited.)

Destiny is a bitch. You can’t choose it, you can’t deny it and you can’t change it. Believe me I tried, and the price is high. The price is too high whatever you do – destiny or not. I’ve lost a lot along this way. … Even her. Yeah, her. She was the most beautiful person I’ve ever known. Long dark hair and her eyes. She and I. We had so much in common. We didn’t even share the greatest secret of our time, something that none of my other friends could ever understand. But she did. She knew what it meant to be lonely. But… Destiny didn’t allow us. Destiny wanted us to go different ways.

(Sorry, for stopping here. But it would really help our firm, if anybody of the present persons could give hints about the identity of this mysterious woman.)

At the end, it won’t matter. The only thing that matters is him. I know he will make it and then everything will be better. It was my destiny to serve him and I will do it as long as I live.

(At least this is an identity that we could confirm to be sure. Obviously, Mr. Merlin was a workaholic. He seems to be almost obsessed of the service to the previously mentioned VIP. We do not know if there were some side effects such as burnout syndrome. Btw. his employer is not here today. He sent us a telegram of sympathy, but there were obviously more important duties than the funeral of an employee.)

(Oh right, I forgot. You are waiting for the important part. Unfortunately, I must disappoint you. Mr. Merlin’s inheritance does not include any money or other valuables. It seems his obsession on work was not lucrative. I’m not sure what he hoped to gain from his constant service, while constantly forgetting about friends and this mysterious woman he loved. At the end, our firm will bury him on a pauper’s grave, even without a full name.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys. I know the first quote was quite different to my normal writing, but I hope you liked it. It was an interesting challenge. But at the end of it there are still two questions remaining.  
> 1) When did it happen? When did Merlin – not Emrys – die?  
> 2) Who was this mysterious woman?  
> 3) What is left of Merlin? / What is his destiny?


	16. Merlin does NOT belong to the BBC

Surprised? Yep, that is me. You are currently reading the third part of this series with 43 chapters in total. And you are still here! So, you could say you are either liking my style (at least a little bit) or you enjoy this crazy writer babbling about a fictional show without any claim of completeness, realism or anything else…

Yeah! Moreover, the title of this chapter is the ultimate provocation. Every writer knows that the lines about the BBC should be at the beginning of a fic and now I claim the complete opposite in this last chapter.

Is it a funny joke? A little bit. But I want to explain this. You know that all my provocations in the previous chapters are related to contradictions, logic issues or other problems of the show. It’s the same with this title. Of course, Merlin and everything, that was presented in the show, belongs to the BBC. I won’t deny this, especially since I could not pay a lawyer, who would be able to deal with the big big BBC.

Nevertheless, the crucial part of the previous sentences is the following part “…, that was presented in the show, …”.

For all of us there is one simple reason to write and read fanfictions: Something is wrong with our favorite show, movie or whatever. It might be a tiny detail, a what-if-question, or the entire freaking plot. It’s our job to fix this. Let’s do it the big way!!! Yeah, these NEW and IMPROVED characters and story belong to us, the writers and readers. Let’s be honest the show Merlin gave and gives us more than enough reasons to write fics.

Several years ago, I was a little annoyed by many fics, where the plot is … err … predictable. These new and improved versions of Merlin are about an Arthur, who does not die at the end of the show. He excepts Merlin’s magic and makes him court sorcerer. The great king Arthur lifts the ban against magic, and everyone celebrates. LOVE, PEACE and HARMONY. You know these fics, don’t you? BORING!!!

I hate those fics. Not just because they are extremely predictable. The main problem is that these stories start at a certain point of the show but ignore everything that happened before this point. I want to illustrate this by the following gedankenexperiment:

Imagine a kingdom, regime, etc. that starts a war against a specific part of their own population. It’s a big war with genocide and all the other stuff. After many years (or even decades) of war, the tyrant dies. The followers of the tyrant `stop´ the war. Up to now, you should be able to follow me very easily. It happens all time in fictional and real world.

But now comes the crucial part. The followers demand absolute loyalty and submission of those people, who suffered under the war and genocide. Moreover, they blame a few rebels among the hunted people for everything that happened during the war and demand the Nobel Peace Prize for themselves.

**What the f*****!**

Do you see the similarities between my tiny gedankenexperiment and the previously described fanfictions?

I tend to believe that there are two main problems in the show, which cause almost all contradiction between the original idea and the rather hasty end. In the first seasons the show demonstrated some interesting points and a group of very talented actors. They wanted to describe the beginning and evolution of the characters that we all know from the legends. Unfortunately, that is also were the first main problem of the plot originates. There had to be a rather simple and fairytale in order to create a child-friendly family show. There is nothing negative about family shows, but the idea of an interesting description of individual characters combined with a simple good-and-evil plot was the key to all later contradictions and logic issues. I know I said this before (several times), but the concept of ‘making’ Camelot the `hero-part´ and everyone else the `villain´ was stupid right from the first episode.

Druids, who do not resist when being slaughtered and persecuted are good magic users. Everyone else who is fighting for freedom, justice and pure survival is evil and should be killed by the heroes of Camelot. Who is going to survive this shit???

The second main problem comes from the presented understanding of the prophecies. Prophecies are set in stone. This is the understanding of our heroes and as brave TV viewers we are supposed to follow the hero, especially when a show is so fixed on the good-and-evil plot. The problem with this understanding becomes clear when you think it to the final end. Avoiding a dark prophecy like `Morgana and Mordred united in evil´ is very simple. Kill them as soon as possible! I am terrible in bible-related topics, but I guess there is a story where a king kills all babies in order to avoid a prophecy of him being stopped by one of these babies in the future. On the other side Arthur is supposed to be a hero – in the future. It doesn’t matter what he does before. We have seen only a little bit (because the show is written from Camelot’s POV).

That is the final consequence of prophecies set in stone. We should be aware of those things.

From my POV, there was a chance to ‘fix’ this. The show should have ended with season 4. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Well, you are right the term ‘fix’ is too much. But it could have been better. Do you remember the last scenes in season 4, where when Aithusa saved Morgana? A really cool scene. The true meaning of this becomes obvious when you think about Kilgharrah’s words about Aithusa: “The white dragon bodes well for Albion, for you and Arthur, and for the land you will build together.” The final scene of Merlin would have been a true statement and so much possibilities at the same time.

Please understand me correctly, there were some good scenes in season 5. But most of the times the characters were reduced to one-dimensional stereotypes in order to have the end from the legend. The producers were simply running out of time.

Well, I have been grumbling a lot, haven’t I? Every reader of my fics will come to the point where he/she thinks: “Oh my god! Come to the point. What’s your solution?” You are absolutely right to think that. But the ugly truth is that I have no solution and believe me I’ve thought about it for a long time. **I FAILED**.

But one point is clear to me. We have to do it the BIG way. Remember, tiny changes won’t truly `fix´ anything. Merlin does no longer belongs to the BBC. It belongs to us now. So, we are free to speculate about totally new things. Indeed, I have some of those strange and crazy ideas that I want to share with you.

At first, we need to think about the actual situation. From my POV we are talking about a civil war without any heroes or villains. There are just a few people fighting for what they think to be right in order to survive, to maintain their power, etc - some kind of GoT with magic (and less sex).

If we start from this, it is obvious to ask how to `pacify´ the situation. Nowadays, civil wars are `fixed´ be creating some kind of unity government, which consists both former war parties. It also helps if leaders of both sides are directly part of this. Sounds complicated, doesn’t it?

Despite of this rather formal description, I tried to `transform´ this idea of a unity government into the world of Camelot and Albion. What do we need to achieve that? Here are my 5 rules for the promised Golden Age.

  1. We would need a situation that is so terrible and desperate that both sides would at least try to think about some truce. - Could be tricky when the all-killing battle at Camlan is not desperate...
  2. The term leaders would naturally include KING Arthur, but we all know that Camelot would have long gone without Merlin. Let’s be honest the true leaders of both sides are Emrys/Merlin and high priestess Morgana. Would Camelot accept a magical Merlin, who has been lying to all of them for so long? The problem of point 2 becomes even more serious when you think about Morgana. She was always a lone warrior, who is running her head through every wall she could find. How to create a situation, where she accepts her connection with all other magic users, especially those loyal to Emrys. Can you imagine Morgana truly accepting advice and influence from someone, who is not Morgause? - Okay, now things are getting serious...
  3. Now things start to become truly complicated. Our former `war parties´ must accept this new `unity government´ of Merlin and Morgana – and our two favorite idiots must accept themselves. `Unity government´ does not necessarily mean that they must rule as king and queen of Albion. It’s more symbolic. But they need to be an important part of the decisions for both non-magical and magical world. So, can you imagine a situation where these former archenemies would openly walk through Camelot and sit at the Round Table discussing laws? - Houston we have a problem..
  4. In the next step, both sides need to admit their crimes in this war. This could be rather simple for Morgana, because her logic is very simple: Everyone who does not fight Uther supported him. Point. She will not have big issues with the population of Camelot blaming her. These guys were the enemy. Of course, Arthur, Merlin and the rest of the Camelot are not so different when it comes to simple and one-sided logic. The problem for our `heroes´ would be that they have to explain the need of this truce to the people of Camelot and this means tell the people that their perfect king Arthur was not so noble and knightly when killing innocent women and children or using magic for his own personal advantages… - Oops!
  5. The last step would be to SHARE. Well, we all know that the magic community has nothing left. Decades of war means that all temples and other places are burned and ruined. Camelot is a world of differences. This kingdom is rich – I mean freaking rich. Btw. one reason for this is that Camelot has been quite busy stealing. The vaults of Camelot are full of magic things. Oops, we did just find another hint why part 4 could be tricky. Nobody wants to see the Knights of the Round Table as shady robber and murderer. Of course, these `honorable´ men and women of the Round Table are also supposed to share their power. This is especially tricky if you consider who `placed´ them at the Round Table. No, I'm not talking about Arthur establishing that stupid piece of furniture. It is Uther. Arthur, Gaius, Leon, Merlin - all of them were promoted by Uther. But why? What did they do to get this honor? - Shit! I give up.



Do you see my `tiny´ problems with making these five rules work? I do so and that is actually the reason why I failed to find a proper solution.

Nevertheless, I want to tell you a few things about two possibilities that I have thought about. Before doing so, you have to remember what I personally like about fics. I prefer it when characters are pushed out of their comfort zone. That causes high dynamics, emotional struggle, possible fighting, etc. But I believe it will be a better situation in the end when breaking free from the comfortable situations of the beginning. What does this mean for our two favorite idiots, who are supposed to form that `unity government´? Morgana is used to be royal and stubborn. Ordering people around and fighting without thinking of the consequences is typical Morgana-style. Merlin on the other hand liked to be servant. You don’t have to care about anything just following orders. Therefore, the prophecy was quite attractive for him. Keep Arthur alive no matter what. Isn’t that simple. Arthur can use his head and questioning himself how to create Albion, free magic, peace and these complicated things. Merlin obeys and eliminates everything in his way.

So, how can we use these characteristics of Merlin and Morgana in order to push them out of their comfort zone into a position as `unity government´?

  1. Can you imagine a situation where the truce between magic and non-magic world is created by an arranged marriage between Merlin and Morgana as symbol? Now court sorcerer and court seer must assist the Round Table in creating the true Albion. That could be such a great fun and would be quite believable since peace treaties were usually sealed by marriages in the middle ages.
  2. Can you imagine a situation where Merlin would be Emrys the king of magic or even magic itself? This Merlin has to put magic community first priority. He would stand up against Arthur. Can you imagine such a Merlin that defends his people openly against the repression of Arthur’s reign? Such a Merlin/Emrys needs to subdue Morgana as well. A high priestess is supposed to serve magic and that would mean Morgana has to serve Merlin. I was looking for a situation that binds Morgana to Merlin’s will as long as he acts as a real king of magic. Btw. being real king does also include to protect his `loyal´ servant from Camelot... That could be so cool when both characters would be forced to act against their normal attitude. The servant becomes the king and the queen must serve him. Oh funny!



You can see that both ideas are strongly influenced by my personal wish to push them into a completely different situation. I would enjoy seeing them struggle and fight against a situation that they cannot avoid in order to maintain the truce. So where is the problem? Why did I not write these fics? Because I failed to fulfill the previously mentioned 5 rules for the promised Golden Age.

Main problems seem to be rule number 1 of such a desperate situation and rule number 3 a force strong enough to fix Merlin and Morgana into this `unity government´. Both needs to be fixed from both sides. On the one side Morgana cannot lash out her anger against Arthur and the others and must be `loyal´ to Merlin, on the other side she has to be `bonded´ by her duties to the magic community - no lone warrior hell-bent on getting one's own way. The same must true for Merlin.

One point that might help in this direction was already mentioned in the first scenario. I want Morgana to become seer and no magical fighter. Yep, you heard me correctly I want her to lose almost all magic permanently. Her seer powers could be a very helpful addition to Merlin’s magic but were neglected in the later seasons. A shame and waste of potential! It was the only real advantage of Morgana against Merlin and could have caused a far more interesting evolution. Additional to that it would give us some more emotional struggling and I enjoy tormenting my favorite characters a little. But more important is that I think a seer Morgana could `fight´ far better for her kin than just running in useless battles without a real chance to win. I was thinking about some magical items or something else that remove all other magic and forcing her to truly deal with her seer powers. A more vulnerable Morgana might be slightly easier to push into situations mentioned above, but do not underestimate her fighting spirit… Unfortunately, I have no way to push Merlin.

**However, I believe in you. You are much smarter than me. You can find a way to `fix´ all our favorite idiots and create a real Golden Age of Albion. Remember Merlin belongs to YOU.**

This was my last and final chapter. I want to thank everyone for participating in our crazy speculations. I will continue reading.

**GOOD LUCK AND GOODBYE. DO IT THE BIG WAY!!!**

**Author's Note:**

> So guys, what’s your opinion? I’m not yet sure if I should continue. Of course, you can suggest further phrases and memorial sentences.


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